Letters from a Daughter to her Father: Week 6

Dear friends,

Yet again I managed to chance upon Bitiyarani's letter...barely managed to get it

Dear Papa,

I have my doubts that somebody is stealing my letters and also marking me absent in my classes. I have zeroed in on a few suspects who are trying many many dirty tricks on me. I have already put in a complaint to my counsellor.

This week we met an uncle who called upon people to abuse each other and walk around naked. He felt that civilized and normal people are a threat to the nation; further propounding that artists are deviant creatures and that “we can never understand how their minds work.” And that they are “helpless & impulsive”…they are compelled to draw naked and write filthy. (Artist Gunji was seen fiddling with his buttons. Maybe his impulse was getting better of him.) The uncle strongly felt that artists being a minority like the gays, their rights have to be protected….obviously this was the biggest issue facing the nation. He also saw it as a means to make socialism a reality wherein everyone would be a nudist. The language barriers would also melt through a compilation of universally accepted abuses. My classmate Ravishankar then expressed his opinion that MF Hussain should be sporting the same dress code as he portrays in his painting. Dirty boys with ultra dirty minds alleged that this demand has to be understood more in the context of Ravishankar’s predispositions. When the talk went into unchartered territory, Dr.Amit Saini, the renowned psychiatrist felt the Id within him propelling a thunderous outburst in defence of Hanumanji whose prasad was still lingering in his mouth. The discussion drew to an end when Sant Alok Tewari Maharaj managed to sufficiently confuse the uncle with his intellectual exposition.

After that class, a military uncle gave us training in air borne warfare and missile propellent technology. The prominent defence analyst Ms.Yasha Mudgal was keenly observing the scene. At the end of the warfare, we came to know that some land from enemy territory was acquired.

One day, the uncle paaji who comes on TVS Scooty told us of the necessity to do multiple farming. People like Shannu who were not even in a position to do single crop farming raised strong objection to such an elitist approach. He demanded some patta land but nobody listened to him.

3 or 4 uncles and an aunty descended in the afternoon to teach us how to cultivate in the mountains. But actually it was a trick played by the plain dwellers...they purposely did not even mention the word 'mountain' during the session. This was a funny sort of game played in some parts of the plains to make fun of the mountain dwellers. My classmate and prominent mountain dweller, Deepak Rawat was mighty upset. The NREGA expert Rajesh was looking forward to learning new technologies of mountain farming…and he was found in tears after the class. The cruelest joke on these enthusiasitic farmers of my class was played by two of the uncles who refused to even open their mouth at all. They are suspected to have been spraying pesticides sitting behind in the class room.

The best experience of the week was a grand old uncle gaving a demonstration on the treatment of insomnia in a combined session where we sat along with 3rd standard kids. The setting was really grand. Finally the entire batch was put to sound sleep and his poor assistant, a Professor was left standing and operating the PPT, unable to sleep. To cater to the treatment of those few who did not benefit from his treatment, judicial intervention was made the very next day, which was very efficient, though intermittent coughs were jarring. This intervention is believed to be an imperialistic conspiracy to infect the School with swine flu which had so far been masterfully avoided by canceling various trips abroad.
As all of us know, capitalism always wins… aah, Papa, ain't I sounding intellectual after spending 6 weeks in school?

Thats it for this week Papa.

Love you lots,

Bitiyarani