Friday, May 05, 2006

Health hazards with risky humour


A personal disaster occured to me of late when I was beaten black and blue by a gentleman who thought I was rediculing him. I regretfuly recall that I had innocently, and in retrospect, needlessly commented ( eh..my usual stuff!) on my friend's blog. The subject was re-remotely connected to this gentleman. Other learned Professors, including Prof.Alexander were also there to give company. All of us were put in our respective places by this gentleman who taught us that our poor "jwaaakes" will not be tolerated by him. Consequently I suffered a shock. I spent the next four hours in deep meditation in a den, alternately called as my room. I got enlightenment. I pass on the gospel on 'risky humour' to the society at large....
A voice from the heaven told me that Humour is defined as the ability of people, objects, or situations to evoke feelings of amusement in other people. Its a form of human communication which makes people laugh or feel happy.
The voice then startled me with the revelation that sense of humour is the ability to experience humour. This referred to as First Law of Humourology.It depends on variables like geographical location, intelligence, culture, maturity, level of education and context. For example, young children particularly favour slapstick( as in cartoons) while satire tends to appeal to more mature audiences.
The next revelation was the Second Law of Humourology. It states that jokes are funny only when told the first time.(ie. mostly..unless its too good a joke or ur audience is too dumb.)
Intense Meditation then revealed to me that the important ingredients in humour:
The relevance factor.
The surprise factor.
The novelty factor.
For example:
A man speaks to his doctor after an operation. He says, "Doc, now that the surgery is done, will I be able to play the piano?" The doctor replies, "Of course!" The man says, "Good, because I couldn't before!"
Hope u get it. No? Forget it.
Humour is of various kinds but I'll just move on to my favourite kinds of humour...ie. the risky variety which could pose problems:
Sarcasm, Irony, Surreal humour, Satire, Stereotypes, Droll humor, Anti-humor and Nonsense jokes....Good, did I give u a fright? Read on to be further terrified...and yes, these are the most dangerous of all humour!
Sarcasm is sneering, jesting, or mocking a person, situation or thing. It is expressed as over-emphasizing.To understand sarcasm requires good general intelligence and better social intelligence. Sarcasm can be difficult to grasp in written form and is easily misinterpreted. To prevent this some people end sarcastic comments on the Internet with an emoticon emphasize words with italics, bold, and/or underlining. But that can also kill a joke!( But again, it can land u in trouble as I did crash land the other day!)
Irony is a gap or incongruity between what a speaker or a writer says, and what is understood.
"You have the face of a pig" is sarcasm: "Your face is so beautiful..... for a pig" is ironic.
Surreal humour is a form of humour based on bizarre, absurd situations, and nonsense logic.Probably the most common form of surreal humour is the non-sequitur, in which one statement is followed by another with no logical progression.
The learned Prof.Varghese Panamthundil Alexander specialises in this. Yeah, Karthik's limericks too show this quality! I'm also a fan of this style when you just don't have to follow time or logic. (Thus you can have Sonia Gandhi& Maneka Gandhi intervening to stop India's partition in 1478.)
Satire is a mode of challenging accepted notions by making them seem ridiculous.It requires an opponent who is sensitive to feel the arrows of wit levelled at him.On the other hand, some works of satire are so subtle in their exaggeration that many people take it seriously true.(Again, a problem that I encountered the other day!)
Priya often does beautiful satires...I remember one in which she ascribes inanimate things with motives and intentions. It is not necessary that one should have a underlying inner meaning as in The Animal Farm by Orwell.
Droll humor is an often dry, witty form of humor that elicits laughs through amusingly odd, sometimes zany behavior or speech. Due to its more subtle nature, this type of humor is not commonly used by comedians.An example is gven below...
I'm alone in the House. I hear strange noises at night like creak, groan and "Prasanth, I'm going to kill you." ...So I remembered what my mother told me, "Whenever you feel afraid just whistle a happy tune... [whistling] ...then I felt a hand around my throat and a voice said, "Thanks. I thought I'd never find you in the dark."
Anyone reminded of Sowmi shtyle?
Anti-humor is a type of indirect humour that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value.
Anti-jokes may rely on deconstruction of the joke, deriving comedy from the unexpected or inappropriate use of technical language
It could sometimes cross over and become a meta-joke:
"Three blind mice walk into a bar. Hmm...They are unaware of their surroundings, so it would be irresponsible to derive humour from their predicament."
Yeah, Varghese does that too!
Nonsense jokes lack intrinsic meaning, and become funny simply because they are absurd:
Q: What is the difference between a duck?
A: A slice of soup about this color. (said while indicating some width with one's hands)
Made any sense? Precisely. Funny? Well, it depends on the delivery mechanism!
Stereotype Often a stereotype is a negative caricature or inversion of some positive characteristic possessed by members of a group, exaggerated to the point where it becomes repulsive or ridiculous.
Stereotype production is based on:
Simplification
Exaggeration or distortion
Generalization
The innumerable Sardarji jokes are based on this variety. Ever heard of a Sardar taking offence to it? Just imagine a proper well built Sardar pouncing on you.....its not that they can't repond. Its just that they are too good and are really fun loving guys with great humour sense!
Not all groups are like this. And there are individuals who are very intolerant of criticism and who lack humour sense proper! So beware...
So, one can easily sense that my preferred kind of humour is....well... sort of dangerous. If I overuse it, it's like chilli, it will burn the entire stuff. A little here and there spices things up but you don't make many friends by sprinkling it in everything. And unfortunately if anyone with a "differently abled" sense of humour comes in the way, you are doomed!

True History revealed!


The true history hitherto unrevealed and suppressed by vested interests is finally exposed!
It is usually the vanquisher and the winner who scripts the "History" and it is his version that finds a place in history books and school text books. Now, for the first time in World History, the independant and true version of History is brought to you without fear or favour to any section, race, nation, sex or ideology. This shall be presented to the world community as a lecture series on this blog. World famous Historians, Prof. Varghese Panamthundil Alexander & Prof.Prasanth Nambron. (myself-editor) shall provide expert guidance and advice. Other visiting experts can post their learned comments. It shall be incorporated into the minutes of the discussion as the lecture proceeds.This World Historians Meet shall be a churning out of truth, ultimate truth.
The introductory Episode shall deal with Modern World History. The moderator is Shrimati Lahari. An extract of the preliminary discussion is hereby produced:
Lahari: Welcome gentlemen. Sirs, could you provide a picture of India's partition? Were the Britishers to be blamed for this? Then why do we hate Pakistan more than we hate the british?
Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): Lahari, YOU GOT YOUR FACTS COMPLETELY WRONG.. This is what really happened: When Jinnah asked for a different country in 1940, pakistanis supported it, But gandhiji opposed it. Later with support from Bangladesh, Pakistanis got Jinnah to form a new country which also got a part of Kashmir. Later after independance India fought a lot of battles with China to get a part of China and later traded that with Pakistan to get that piece of Kashmir from Pakistan. Its still not resolved because China is asking for US mediation in this while India is asking for SriLanka to mediate in this issue. I HOPE NOW THINGS ARE A LITTLE CLEAR TO YOU.
Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): We need to understand the historical facts correctly. Prof.Alexander has given a slightly lopsided version. He has put the bulk of the blame on the Bangladeshis while it were the Sinhalese population settled in Punjab who initially supported Jinnah.The Sinhalese were initially linked to the Trincomali based LTTE which then played a vital role in co-ordinating India's partition.And when Rajiv Gandhi opposed this, he was killed. Despite strong protest from Sonia Gandhi and Maneka Gandhi, India was partitioned.We shud also remember at this juncture that Chinese guns were used by the Vietnamese soldiers against the Americans.Subramaniam Swamy had opposed this also among many other things.Despite this, India lost the test series in Pakistan.On other facts, I agree with Prof.Alexander.
Lahari: Thank you Sirs. I am enlightened. Now, why is cricket between India & Pakistan such a big issue? Why are we backward in most games..any historic reasons?
Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): See, Brits not only arranged cricket matches but also hockey,kabbadi and kho kho between communities to prevent unity...this called "Divide & Rule Policy". After the Brits left, nobody conducted these, and thus we became backward in sports.Thus infact our backwardness in sports is due to the abrupt leaving of Brits...This has occured all over the world. In such a condition the sportspersons are referred to as "Subsidiary aliens". This causes real backwardsness in sports.
Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA):But there is one good thing that Britishers did, driving India backwards, India went so backwards that India started getting medals in Swimming backstroke event. In 1969 Olympics, India's Chitra Iyer became 4th in 97m women's Backstroke event. The best timing by any Indian woman in Olympics. She is currently playing in Indian woman's football team in Left back wing position.
Lahari: Thats indeed exciting.... Historically speaking how do you see Chitra Iyer's performance in the last century and in this Millenium?
Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): We need a Geriatric approach to understand this. Chitra Iyer was indeed fabulous in the 1969 back stroke event.Her coach who had endured mild strokes earlier migrated from Pakistan through South Korea to coach her.
One trivia which most people do not know is that Chitra Iyer, besides being a wonderful Left back wing player of football, excels in Full back position in the current womens Hockey team under the pseudonym of Lata Mangeshkar.We owe a lot to the Brits for all these backwardness.
Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): Yes...and Prof.Nambron you would recall, recently Chitra Iyer was selected for the Women's cricket Team under the pseudonym, Shobhana George. Its a positive development.
Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): Just imagine...Chitra Iyer who won a medal in 1969 Olympics is playing in the current Hockey, Football and Cricket team under the pseudonyms. Its thrilling for some. But some eminent sports persons like Arjun Singh have called for communal representation in the teams and to restrict the games played by Chitra Iyer. This is known by the term" Reservation" in Contemporary History.
Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): Some religious bigots have termed Chitra Iyer's inclusion as the cause of drought in Rajasthan. Infact it is the attempt of upper caste Thakurs of the village to somehow push in their grand mothers into the team at the expense of Chitra Iyer. This process is called as Sanskritisation.
Lahari: Sir, could we wind up the introductory discussion with a summation of the direction of International politics as viewed by a Historian...
Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): Current trends of International politics are deeply linked to the 1962 Cuban Missile crisis.I would like to stress the point that Bangladesh was ultimately responsible for the cuban missile crisis. World over, the established Historians have absolved them of this crime. The silly argument that they raise is that Bangladesh was formed only in 1971. As intelligent Historians we should observe that the difference is hardly 9 years, which is not such a big gap. India was not at all involed because we were busy fighting with Chinese shepherds at that point of time.
In short, the current trends, based on deductions based on the 1962 crisis shows that US-Iran alliance will emerge stronger and pose a greater challenge to Israel-Saudi Axis. Though the USA has been demanding right to self determination, it is very unlikely that Mozambique would grant it easily.Mozambique as a super power would be accepted all cross the world, even by Papua New Guinea.
Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): I broadly agree with it. But I feel the events should be observed from the view point of LTTE rebellion in Assam. Geographically, Assam being close to Canada and Italy will cause major problems in South East Asian Markets.
Lahari: Thank you Sirs. Now the plenum is opened for other delegates to share their learned opinions...students of History can also ask their doubts concerning Modern History in this plenum.

An ex-minister's day out


Maramandan Tripathy was thoroughly tired.He struggled to avoid the waiting reporters as he came out of the meeting with his supporters. He could hardly walk. But his brains were still working at a maddening pace.How could the prime minister behave like that to him! After all, he too had a stature and political standing of over three decades.He was far senior to the PM in politics.The PM was just a dragon fly visible since last monsoon...yet he has the temerity to ignore and punish him like this. Uh!
First of all, he was removed from the cabinet. Now he was being implicated in three more cases besides ofcourse his son, as usual, being chargesheeted in another four cases. Though a man of eighty five, Mr. Maramandan Tripathy had always been the most visible and active of all ministers; he had been a master campaigner and organiser, tough negotiater and a master strategist for all elections.But now? Now he was an isolated entity within the party. The opposition would have nothing to do with such a tainted ex-minister. He had nowhere to go and only a handful of supporters.
As he walked across the Janpath road towards his car,pushing aside the waiting reporters, he heard a female voice. Startled he turned around....the voice was from across the high wall to his left. He was shocked to hear what the voice said....the voice was repeating monotonously, " 45...45.....45...45...ha ha ha ha" The laugh was hysterical.
$45 million was the bribe money he took to allow the import of Armenian perfumed coconut violating the country's long standing tradition of not importing perfumed coconut.In 1962, after the Chinese invasion, the then PM, J.L.Nehru had taken this strategic decision to bring down government spending and national extravagence.Maramandan Tripathy, though of the Nehruvian mould, violated this foreign policy paradigm as well as other Nehruvian policies. But that was for the party and for himself.For money basically.
But now he was shocked to hear people hiding behind walls making fun of him by shouting aloud his bribe money...this was too much.All that he wanted now was respect. He was too old to fight for power or money.He looked at the numerous press reporters. Were they jeering at him? Insult was something he could never take.Maramandan Tripathy took a deep breath and turned towards the wall.
" Abbe kaun hai..saamne aa.." He dared,"himmat hai to saamne aa.."
"45...45...45..hahahaha....45..45....45.."
Tripathy's old voice crackled,"Abbe...baahar nikal.."
"hahahaha...45..45..."
He rushed towards the wall. The gate of the compound was locked from outside.The voice went on making fun of him.He was utterly helpless. This was the most insulting phase in his entire political career.In front of the press.....thoroughly humiliated. Placing his hands on the wall, he moved about frantically,badly wanting to crush the originator of the voice. The voice meanwhile went on shouting, as if to irritate him more and more.Finally he spotted a small 1 inch hole on the wall. With a twinkle in his eyes, he moved towards it and thought,"Now! I'll see who this bitch is....I'll fix her later."
As Tripathy peeped into the hole on the wall, something suddenly pierced into his eye.
"Aaaaaaaaaagrh......" Maramandan Tripathy cried out in utter pain as he fell back." Meri aakhen...aaaooouu..."
Someone had poked a twig into his eys.It was bad. Really bad and bleeding.
A huge crisis had developed. The ex-cabinet minister had been attacked.The entire government machinery swung into action.Maramandan Tripathy was immediately rushed to the AIIMS. Live interviews with Ophthalmologists were aired on all channels.The news papers were searching for appropriate pictures of the eye ball. The PM expressed shock. The President declared his pain and anguish. An investigation was ordered.
Meanwhile, the site of the incident was cordoned off. The activities around Janpath died down slowly. By 12.30pm it was almost silent. One voice could yet be heard in the stillness of the night, a female voice which monotonously repeated," 46...46..46...ha ha ha ha.." The laugh was indeed hysterical.