tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-223873182024-03-05T11:32:02.151+05:30Closed mouth gathers no foot"You press a switch and the bulb is lit.You press a bulb, the switch is not lit."- Lord LettitglowHimavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-17110177002195094042009-08-16T10:27:00.005+05:302009-08-30T10:09:11.077+05:30A Basket-case Study<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lKlecvMZQbK6tooMnDoByVvcXdsz_YwzHNS5lEpUQDqmDJitdQb9eSSFTJ-Zf92adCi5DO_D-a5PAkzCQ3_a5xMo6-WiD_9OS1q7z-m-KA0XVwqgQdmRx2P9q-l6UvRBtot7Sw/s1600-h/Mayor_Island.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370427315045305906" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 333px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lKlecvMZQbK6tooMnDoByVvcXdsz_YwzHNS5lEpUQDqmDJitdQb9eSSFTJ-Zf92adCi5DO_D-a5PAkzCQ3_a5xMo6-WiD_9OS1q7z-m-KA0XVwqgQdmRx2P9q-l6UvRBtot7Sw/s400/Mayor_Island.jpg" border="0" /></a> <strong>An old case study that was written a couple of years ago soon after the Foundation Course (FC) & Phase I:</strong><br /><br />Far across the oceans, in the distant Polynesian archipelago, there is the Mountainous Island of Yaess. This island is inhabited by a young migrant population. The ruling elite class also consists of immigrant population but of a different manufacturing date.<br /><br />The story of the Yaess Island could be summarized as the perpetual struggle between the progressive and forward-looking administration and the regressive non-responsive citizenry. Citizens often alleged that the powerful ruling bourgeoisie wielded enormous unaccounted power, which was obviously untrue.<br /><br />For instance, the Yaess administration was supplying hot water to the citizens once a day through Mark II pumps. As the Administration was very reform oriented, it wanted to introduce Mark III pumps which would supply water only once in a month. This would reduce water consumption greatly, thus contributing to the progress of the Island. The then Home Minister, Dr. Bakosh said in a press release that there was some resistance to Mark III pumps as the superstitious and traditional citizens did not adopt innovative measures such as bathing once a month.<br /><br />Ignorant and unintelligent citizens often alleged the government of the Island to be very harsh on their basic civil liberties. One of their major complaints was the compulsory frog-hunting exercise undertaken in the early morning. This was being criticized by the Atheist & Rationalist Association of Yaess Island (ARAYI) as being superstitious and unscientific. Mr. Max D.D.T, President of the Association wrote to the Indian Hunter’s Union (IHU) complaining against the lead hunter, Mr. Shambhu. The first premise of this hunting exercise is that all human bodies are manufactured alike under factory specifications. Second premise is that compassion and usage of courteous language are cardinal sins. Martyrdom on the hunting grounds is the desired goal.<br /><br />As per the law of the Island, criticism of the ritualistic frog-hunting is blasphemy. This has been specifically mentioned in Kon Duct Smruthi, the Ancient scripture dating as early as 1950 A.D. It also mentions that Frog hunting in the early morning makes your kidney hyper-functional and the pancreas muscular. The corpus callosum becomes Medulla Oblongata and the Oesophagus becomes the vertebral column. Elders in the island fondly recollect these sessions with goose pimples and tears.<br /><br />Similarly, compulsory kangaroo riding is criticized by some intellectually challenged citizens. They have demanded that they be acquainted with more ‘mundane’ skills like bike riding taking into consideration that an astonishing number of the citizens didn’t know such skills. Lord Yarajesha, the Minister of Defence investigated this and found no merit in such arguments. He concluded that a proper understanding of the Kangaroo psychology would be very helpful as most people have basic underlying kangarufication in their psyche. The supplementary report by Lord White Tender said that riding a difficult animal like kangaroo helps one overcome fear. Infact, he recommended that in future compulsory riding on bear, tiger, lion and hippopotamus should also be introduced to cater to the needs of the fast changing globalization era. Enlightened citizens like Mr.Enemynta and Prof. Icepeak were thrilled to hear such proposals. Dr. Infinite Shiney, another prominent citizen and also a prominent medical professional hailed this decision on medical grounds.<br /><br />Meanwhile, many misers amongst the citizenry led by Mr.Silver Shiney protested against rising food prices. The mid-day meal scheme was in quandary. H.H. Princess Sunken Emajinason, Minister of Food & Civil Supplies denied this. Prime Minister Sultan Ouou Lockkuar prepared detailed Excel sheets to study this allegation. Since Excel work sheet is extremely suited for this, the research work is expected to be completed by the very next decade. As luck would have it, Lord Srikrishna, the just, did not shower much blessings or rain in the Island for the sixth consecutive year. In short, rising prices and food shortage coupled with drought made the population rebellious.<br /><br />However, petty talk over price rise and failed crops is considered unbecoming of a Yaess Islander who should not be worried of small things such as food, shelter and clothing. He is after all, the cream of the world. Such petty issues are for the beggars and the underprivileged wretched lot. But the sad part is that the non-progressive citizenry never rose above their petty concerns.<br /><br />Meanwhile, there occurred a large scale infiltration of the Island by elderly migrants which resulted in acute shortage of essential commodities and basic facilities in the tiny Island. Many were rendered homeless and many lost their belongings to the invaders. Service-delivery deteriorated badly.<br /><br />Another contentious issue facing the Island nation is the objection raised by fashion-ignorant citizens who termed the official dress code of the Islanders as ‘very very funny’. Subsequently, Lord Chou Oprah Commission was appointed which conducted a detailed inquiry and submitted the report thus:<br /><br />“It is astonishing that the dress code has been termed ‘funny’ while the whole intent has been to bring in a grave mood by designing the attire modelled on an undertakers’ dress. We also note that the other option modelled on the Butler’s uniform has unfortunately failed to catch the imagination of the islanders. The Commission recommends that no change be allowed in the dress code and that it should be enforced more stringently. We need to perfect the dress code. The Commission is optimistic that in the near future we will achieve 100% dress code compliance. After that we will try to think about minor issues such as moral and ethical codes.” There was widespread rioting after the submission of this report and an agitated Ayyangar youth, Selvan L.Y Goodlaugh attempted self-immolation to demand statutory protection for mundu. Security proceedings were initiated against him by the District Magistrate, Lord Clockaani, under section 107 Cr.P.C as he threatened to set the whole of the island on fire. Finally, the issue was settled with Dr.Vaasu of the Paavaada Mundu Kazhakam (PMK) being nominated as a member of the Dress Code Implementation Committee.<br /><br />It has to be noted that the past history of the Island has also not been very peaceful. The general public was so immature that it revolted in December 2007 A.D. Though the coup resulted in the overthrow of the then Prime Minister Lord Skylite Amberor, there were 107 casualties in the battle. Two contemporary historians Ms.Happyi and Ms.Happita have recorded the troubled times in their classic work titled “Post-modern positive trends in post-coup society-A Postscript”. This publication marked the paradigm shift in the administrative thought prevailing in society. The leftist progressive Intellectual, Prof. Murugan soon demanded that a study be made into the oppression carried out by the petty bourgeois over the citizens. The new post-coup administration decided to undertake a fresh look into the whole issue.<br /><br />Soon, 8 study groups were sent out far across the distant lands to study and analyse how the citizens could be coaxed into accepting the modernisation programme of the Island administration. A comparative approach would then be made to find solutions to the problems faced by the administration and the citizens in this endeavour. The groups soon returned with lots of T.A Bills and a few diary notes.<br /><br />Now the Administration appointed a Special Commission to go through the notes and inquire if there was any problem in the system which made life difficult for the citizens. And if at all there was some problem, should it be rectified?!<br /><br />The Commission observed,<br /><br />“The profound view of this Commission is that life should be made as difficult as possible with increasing degree of torture such that on a later date when one looks back, you tend to feel good about the past. This feeling would emanate from the sheer feeling of relief. The emphasis is not to enjoy the present. Enjoy only the past. This is a quasi-intellectual, quasi-cerebral exercise. These tortures have to go on as it maintains the relevance of the Island administration. The Philadelphia-Minnowbrook line of thought has not forsaken the “relevancy factor.’ While there are so many other ways to remain relevant and important, this is the easiest/shortest way. As efficient administrators, one needs to follow the shortest path. Time-motion studies are guiding us in this regard.”<br /><br />The challenge before the Island administration is not just to modernise the administration, but also to process re-engineer the citizens’ thinking process. This would result in the transformation of Yaess Island to e-Ass Island by developing knowledge-torture linkages resulting from widespread automation and implementation of innovative programmes like e-danda.<br /><br />The Officer Trainees are to carefully read the above case study and divide themselves into 91 groups and discuss strictly within their groups as to how a change could be brought in the Island.<br />The questions to be considered are:<br /><br />1. What are the innovative forms of e-torture which are practically implementable in the Island of Yaess?<br />2. What steps do you suggest to make the citizens more torture-friendly?<br />3. Design a replicable model based on the above case study using MS Excel, MS Project and MS Swaminathan with interpolation of MS Paint in Oracle based exhaustive Data Mining architecture.<br /><br />You will be judged and evaluated on the actual change/torture that is made possible.Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-53817426488427439992009-07-26T19:49:00.006+05:302009-07-26T20:38:04.520+05:30Letters from a Daughter to her Father: Week 6<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgESCCat6QPYI0Nnl49Zy0AlMaBIyqq-2CCVsn6z826FBldHGxtIwSGuhXWUVA0NAf-aW1I7is87_8a3e3eYfUx8a5dDDVpCpqG2zrL8MJ0Lz1njnsL5Yrr9Ungwg5GcRNuByaHrA/s1600-h/letter.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362778083056673666" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgESCCat6QPYI0Nnl49Zy0AlMaBIyqq-2CCVsn6z826FBldHGxtIwSGuhXWUVA0NAf-aW1I7is87_8a3e3eYfUx8a5dDDVpCpqG2zrL8MJ0Lz1njnsL5Yrr9Ungwg5GcRNuByaHrA/s400/letter.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><br /><p><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong><em>Dear friends,</em></strong></span></p><br /><p><span style="font-size:85%;"><strong><em>Yet again I managed to chance upon Bitiyarani's letter...barely managed to get it</em></strong></span></p><br /><p><span style="font-size:85%;">Dear Papa,<br /><br />I have my doubts that somebody is stealing my letters and also marking me absent in my classes. I have zeroed in on a few suspects who are trying many many dirty tricks on me. I have already put in a complaint to my counsellor.<br /><br />This week we met an uncle who called upon people to abuse each other and walk around naked. He felt that civilized and normal people are a threat to the nation; further propounding that artists are deviant creatures and that “we can never understand how their minds work.” And that they are “helpless & impulsive”…they are compelled to draw naked and write filthy. (Artist Gunji was seen fiddling with his buttons. Maybe his impulse was getting better of him.) The uncle strongly felt that artists being a minority like the gays, their rights have to be protected….obviously this was the biggest issue facing the nation. He also saw it as a means to make socialism a reality wherein everyone would be a nudist. The language barriers would also melt through a compilation of universally accepted abuses. My classmate Ravishankar then expressed his opinion that MF Hussain should be sporting the same dress code as he portrays in his painting. Dirty boys with ultra dirty minds alleged that this demand has to be understood more in the context of Ravishankar’s predispositions. When the talk went into unchartered territory, Dr.Amit Saini, the renowned psychiatrist felt the Id within him propelling a thunderous outburst in defence of Hanumanji whose prasad was still lingering in his mouth. The discussion drew to an end when Sant Alok Tewari Maharaj managed to sufficiently confuse the uncle with his intellectual exposition.<br /><br />After that class, a military uncle gave us training in air borne warfare and missile propellent technology. The prominent defence analyst Ms.Yasha Mudgal was keenly observing the scene. At the end of the warfare, we came to know that some land from enemy territory was acquired.<br /><br />One day, the uncle paaji who comes on TVS Scooty told us of the necessity to do multiple farming. People like Shannu who were not even in a position to do single crop farming raised strong objection to such an elitist approach. He demanded some patta land but nobody listened to him.<br /><br />3 or 4 uncles and an aunty descended in the afternoon to teach us how to cultivate in the mountains. But actually it was a trick played by the plain dwellers...they purposely did not even mention the word 'mountain' during the session. This was a funny sort of game played in some parts of the plains to make fun of the mountain dwellers. My classmate and prominent mountain dweller, Deepak Rawat was mighty upset. The NREGA expert Rajesh was looking forward to learning new technologies of mountain farming…and he was found in tears after the class. The cruelest joke on these enthusiasitic farmers of my class was played by two of the uncles who refused to even open their mouth at all. They are suspected to have been spraying pesticides sitting behind in the class room.<br /><br />The best experience of the week was a grand old uncle gaving a demonstration on the treatment of insomnia in a combined session where we sat along with 3rd standard kids. The setting was really grand. Finally the entire batch was put to sound sleep and his poor assistant, a Professor was left standing and operating the PPT, unable to sleep. To cater to the treatment of those few who did not benefit from his treatment, judicial intervention was made the very next day, which was very efficient, though intermittent coughs were jarring. This intervention is believed to be an imperialistic conspiracy to infect the School with swine flu which had so far been masterfully avoided by canceling various trips abroad.<br />As all of us know, capitalism always wins… aah, Papa, ain't I sounding intellectual after spending 6 weeks in school?</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-size:85%;">Thats it for this week Papa. </span></p><br /><p><span style="font-size:85%;">Love you lots,</span></p><br /><p><span style="font-size:85%;">Bitiyarani<br /></p></span></div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1906340542499177742009-07-19T19:16:00.012+05:302009-07-20T07:03:43.363+05:30Letters from a daughter to her father:Week 5<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiePxGEafpaGXUxhSGdEUQKe4JxaDlkA3r__j0pMMkhdoXCr0Utmt4_zcSrAMFAganXIz0ieI7Kwkz4DxsUEmfixP6J_EnGnWEB5xHoo9MtJFOns-m3Qt2g6iXrAgf7cQwY51_kig/s1600-h/letter.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 255px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiePxGEafpaGXUxhSGdEUQKe4JxaDlkA3r__j0pMMkhdoXCr0Utmt4_zcSrAMFAganXIz0ieI7Kwkz4DxsUEmfixP6J_EnGnWEB5xHoo9MtJFOns-m3Qt2g6iXrAgf7cQwY51_kig/s400/letter.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360168481026316898" /></a><b>Yet again a letter from Bitiya Rani came across me..what a coincidence for the fifth week in a row! </b><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dear Papa,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> This week began with an exposure to the efforts taken by the police to “mainstream HIV in all districts”. A police uncle gave a detailed exposition on the police approach in this regard. After his dedicated effort, AIDS has been considerably popularized in all the districts and it is spreading steadily. Dushmanta Behra, the Oriya par excellence then expounded the 'Equitorial theory of AIDS' which states that the HIV virus travels along predetermined lines after keen observance of the latitudes & longitudes. He had correlation studies to prove his point regarding the preference exhibited by the virus.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Handling urban poor using the systems approach was the theme of the talk by the next uncle. This involved manhandling the urban poor using systems’ jargon. Our classmate Madan felt perfectly at home during this lecture and he carried forward the systems’ discussions in the mess over tea. It was an exhilarating experience for him as he finally found one of his kind.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Abhishek Dev, the humble farmer then talked to us on ruralisation of </span><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Chandigarh</span></st1:place></st1:city><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and his efforts to promote agriculture on the highways. Efforts to identify excess holding of highway land beyond land ceiling limits by the NHAI and distribution of the same to marginalized farmers in pursuance of land reforms was explained in detail. This will apparently bring about the second and third green revolution at a single stroke. This project is undertaken as directed by CRS, Mussoorie.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“Empowerment of Shabana” was a One Act play enacted in our school by small time stage actress S. Habana Assami aunty. She asked the organizer of the play to read out a list of all the plays she had done. She was very particular that all her galli plays be mentioned and also that the many tokens of appreciation she received from various gallis and mohallaas be prominently read out. The story of the play was based on game theory. The game was called ‘haughty-haughty’. The play turned out to be extremely parliamentary in nature.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Yet another play named “Employee Productivity, Motivation and Discipline (EPMD)” was enacted before us. This was an emotional melodrama and many onlookers had to use hydraulic pumps to control the outflow of tears. The story is based on macroeconomics and not on science fiction as was rumoured earlier in the day. Probably this is the first play to be made on macroeconomic theory. Lord Vyasan, the eminent economist was thrilled with this thought provoking economic drama.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> The theme of the play revolves around the economic question, -whether free option is available or not? The award winning actress, Madhabiben Mohapatra, who plays a banker, puts this disturbing question to the chief protagonist, played by Aravind Swamy. The hero is an honest and upright Chartered Accountant with trade union background who firmly believed that free options were available and he loudly proclaims this before the cruel world. Thereafter the heroine bursts out in rage and walks out..straight to her Maikka. This free-option issue becomes a bone of contention between the Parivaars of the hero and heroine. Swords were soon drawn. This is the setting of the play.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Superstar of the nineties, Ashish Kumar, plays a character-role in this play. In a heated moment, he shouts at the hero with the </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Talwar </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">drawn and ready. He</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">enumerates what all the heroine had “…bank mein job, karodon ki daulat, naukar chaakar, motor car, chaar variety hair dye, do kuthe , theen bache aur do-theen </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">degree. Tumhare paas kya hai..? Tum aakhir kaun ho?” Aravind Swamy, the hero delivers the punch dialogue “Mere paas Mess hai...”</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> [The question of “Tum aakhir kaun ho?” meanwhile stirred the sleeping Arthur from his slumber. This question had been asked by so many thinkers and philosophers and yet none got answers till date. The philosopher in Arthur had this question thrown to him for the first time.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He decided to undertake a pilgrimage to St.Tavern’s Cathedral that very evening to ponder over this question.]</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The highlight of this play was Bengali actress Pausumi Bandhopadhaya’s item number. (Special binoculars were supplied to the spectators on the back rows so that the tiny actress was visible on the stage.) At the climax, Madhabiben Mohapatra decides to leave the hero, with whom she had serious differences of economic theory. She then decides to adopt the item bomb shell and they lived happily every after.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> ONGC, Reliance and ICICI Bank sponsored this play which had a social message.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> An entrepreneur saw an opportunity to make a soap opera, “CC Bhi Kabhi OT Tha” (CBKOT) based on this play. The casting is still on and interested actors may contact Sri.Ashutosh, the reliable who believes in doing everything in the private. He has produced quite a few movies/tele-serials/plays privately; but they flopped basically because he insisted that everyone should watch the movie in private. He will have nothing to be done publicly. He says, “I just hate the public sector.” People may kindly contact him privately for casting purposes.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Meanwhile, Gopal Yo Yo, the classic playboy, the Casanova, was yet again attacked by a posse of non-vegetarian girls. This time he had a close shave. The first attack was late in the night at 11.00pm when he was getting into the bed after vegetarian meals. The females continued to torment him and tried to impress him through various non-vegetarian means. His DC cheated him and did not tell him to take precautionary measures during such interactions and associations. So needless to say, all get-togethers were without any precaution. The implications of these meetings will not be known immediately; only time will tell.</span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> So Papa, that’s about this week. The school is getting wilder by the day and if all is okay I’ll mail you next week.</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Love,</span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Bitiya Rani</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-80053079079679934362009-07-12T22:55:00.006+05:302009-07-19T21:44:51.835+05:30Letters from a daughter to her father:Week 4<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjailZpMLEeYcsQBwVYQBq06nIHETANX1DxHALz0j0U_wI5zqdtom1FjytTWkOW56EnZBtSk5AiJnAdtaYTp1CzRh2ormI7BACEljL-WijCLFy2A55wpPE1yR84r_M2wA6_CdrDjg/s1600-h/letter_writi_24714_lg.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 399px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjailZpMLEeYcsQBwVYQBq06nIHETANX1DxHALz0j0U_wI5zqdtom1FjytTWkOW56EnZBtSk5AiJnAdtaYTp1CzRh2ormI7BACEljL-WijCLFy2A55wpPE1yR84r_M2wA6_CdrDjg/s400/letter_writi_24714_lg.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358308806057266994" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:13px;"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Dear friends,</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Here is the copy of this week</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">'s letter sent by Bitiyarani to her dad. I had some difficulty getting a copy, hence the delay...</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Dear Papa,</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Last week</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> was exciting! There was strong rumour that some vested interests from within the school had approached the Supreme Court in appeal over the s.377 order of the High Court, precisely with the intention to upset the ideas of a few gentlemen changing their cadres. On the other hand it is rumoured that the CM of Orissa had a role in this appeal, aimed at stalling the exit of a few good and proven guys like Ballu and Bhau. For the time being, the benches are as frozen as before.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This week</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, our school witnessed a virtual trek. We were all taken to some Tibba from where we trekked for over 14km and then came back. (Shri. Sanket Bhondve organized a photography competition during the trek.) This virtual exercise was done within one hour and we were all exhausted after the effort. On the way back, we saw a movie as well. With the advancement of technology and with daily reflection practice, we have become capable enough to have simulated experience of almost anything. Similarly we underwent a plane hijacking in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Israel</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> and escaped unscathed. A virtual simulation of hijacking in Indian context was also sought to be run. But we knew that if such a simulation took place, none of us would be rescued. So we stopped the simulation exercise as and when the hijacking began.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This </span></span><span class="il" style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 204); background-position: initial initial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">week</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> we had one uncle who taught us how to dig holes. (His inspiration and motivation in life has been his spiritual Guru called Swamy Ayya who had also come along to grace the podium.) The uncle specialized in digging holes and later filling it up. But the secret of his success has been that he measures the holes in groups of ten or twenty before filling it up. This is colloquially called “Nappy”. This is the first time that nappy was used to measure anything. Swamy Ayya was witness for all this innovation.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">For two hours, the uncle elaborated on the socio-cultural aspects and macro economic ramifications of digging well-measured holes in grouping of ten and twenty with special reference to other geospatial occurrences which might be as innocuous as El Nino or as significant as the third button hole in a Bandhgala. It was quite complex; next to rocket science. Ultimately everything boils down to how well you dig a hole, he said in all humility. The nappy needs to be real solid and we need to hit hard on the parasites… For every second sentence the humble disciple would call upon Swamy Ayya to bless him and his children. This went on and on and on…</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> Finally, after two hours of silence, Swamy Ayya, the revered Guru spoke on how Nirvana was attained.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Guru Swamy Ayya narrated a story: Swamy Ayya had visited a house in Rajasthan. The lady of the house had left some portions of the wall without whitewashing so as to save some money. However, Swamy Ayya went on pestering her about the gap in the wall and how unstylish it looked. It was not at all contemporaray. Fed up with such comments the lady told Swamy Ayya that the marks on the wall needed to be preserved to keep account of the money that the Sarpanch owed her husband. Swamy Ayya broke down into tears and attained Nirvana then and there. </span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Later Swamy Ayya ate the chapattis that the lady gave her and experienced bliss.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Meanwhile, few of my classmates in their neo-literate enthusiasm were taking part in a literacy campaign in the class when forces of darkness and ignorance snatched the books of knowledge from those devout readers. It was returned after two long hours of fast-on-to death agitation. This great occasion is celebrated throughout </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">India</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, especially in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Varanasi</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> as Book-vaapsi Divas. The great leader of this movement, Shri.Alok Tiwari has promised that at least one elephant will be constructed in the classroom to commemorate this event.</span></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This week</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> also saw more wild and nutty schedules of badminton being experimented by the Playboy club of the school. Stalwarts stood stunned on the sidelines as the hyper-flexible playboy, Mr.Mallick displayed his caliber and stamina, again and again, throughout the day and late into the night. Boy..is he a playboy!</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">This week </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">also saw the launch of a new Service, IBS under the able guidance of the Great Maratha contingent. The first bakra for the bakr service was Shri. Anurag Tiwari., IBS who gracefully accepted the honour. An experiment conducted in collaboration with the Duke university showed beyond doubt that even after 7 odd years into the job, the ‘bakr-ism’ does not die out. Books, bags, it's contents etc are of mere ornamental value serving no purpose at all…the real stuff is ‘bakr’. That’s what makes us stand apart. For two whole days, one gentleman in Phase III carried around the bag of a Phase II. Aah..how does it matter!</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Papa, though there were many other events this week</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, its time for me to go and enjoy my extra physical training with 17 other lucky ones…so bye for now. Take care.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Lots of love,</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Bitiyarani</span></span></p></span>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-17775137677824171802009-07-12T22:52:00.004+05:302009-07-19T19:30:52.220+05:30Letters from a daughter to her father:Week 3<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM9kOeFKNtdn8LCXWLwpe_8jSSccJ9w9DliyYXEWcqNImOZG-OzGdDnZcnNNAMDhvgQzWa2ExYz_NPYGwEgF9WtFjFZOngixQ7TCCZMhaYV7lwGWBDG8FU6dN2kaTKJDDmvJ3QMg/s1600-h/opinions___ideas_3.Par.30406.Image.0.0.1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM9kOeFKNtdn8LCXWLwpe_8jSSccJ9w9DliyYXEWcqNImOZG-OzGdDnZcnNNAMDhvgQzWa2ExYz_NPYGwEgF9WtFjFZOngixQ7TCCZMhaYV7lwGWBDG8FU6dN2kaTKJDDmvJ3QMg/s400/opinions___ideas_3.Par.30406.Image.0.0.1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358316799963849490" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:13px;"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4 July 2009</span></span></b></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "></span>Friends, </span></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">On the occasion of completion of 3 weeks in the academy, Bitya Rani's one more letter in the series of "Letters from a daughter to the Father" has come to my hands. Kindly peruse for information and no necessary action:</span></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><span style="font-weight: bold; "><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dear Papa,</span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.5in; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The recent </span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Delhi</span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> High Court order has created quite a ripple in the school. Few dirty fellows were telling me that my close friend Jhabua ka Babua had fought and won that particular case. But he has totally denied this. I believe him entirely.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "></span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">On the contrary, I have my doubts on few others. I am told that with this order, a new vista has been opened…a window of opportunity…a rare possibility. Now to change the benches on which we sit, we need not strike friendship with a friend of the opposite sex. Same gender courtship can in the near future be a ground for changing our benches (or cadres, as they are colloquially referred to). Whatt ann idea sirrjee…</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> With the benefit of the new interpretation of 377, the animal angle for cadre change is being examined in detail by Dr.Basavaraju, the renowned vet. People interested in </span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Assam</span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> may court the Rhino and those courting the Ridley turtles may get Orissa. An affair with an elephant can take you to Karnataka, while a fling with Khataknath chicken can take you straight to Jhabua! A window of immense possibility has been thrown open and our batch may be the first to exploit these.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It is in this context that the eminent social scientist, commentator and leader of the moral brigade, Dr.Deepak Rawat requested the authorities to keenly observe the room mates who display suspicious behaviour.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Our morning meditation sessions have been disrupted due to rain and I really miss it. The 3 piece bikini movement has thus come to a grinding halt. But we try our best to meditate during the classes with increased vigour.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Papa, our school is very liberal and actively encourages alcohol consumption. Those who take just a quarter peg have been put in quarter group. Similarly, there are pint groups, half groups and full groups. Only my friend Arthur sits in the full group.In our Quarter group sessions there was extensive discussion on onion, potato, chicken(murga) and other food items. The debate was basically as to what goes best with a quarter peg whiskey. A chicken rearing experiment carried out by a young active, honest and dynamic IAS officer in Jhabua was discussed in such a session. Murugan the subject expert on murgi on being contacted however refused to comment on the merits of this case.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">During a quarter session, Raghav, my friend described how best he tried to create a law and order problem in the sedate town of </span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Madurai</span></span></span><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. It is not rare to find such drunken people create nuisance after consuming a quarter or half. Raghav after a quarter peg apparently tried to break down a wall and this led to clashes and police firing.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The other day, after a quarter or so, Dr.Dange expounded a detailed presentation on Total Sanitation Campaign. She apparently conducted surprise checks in the village in the early hours to strictly enforce it. Social Scientist Pausumi Basu was very much interested in the nature and content of the competitions held for the villagers, as part of this campaign. But going by the snaps displayed during the presentation by Dr.Dange, the toilets constructed in the district did not have any doors and it was theorectically ‘open defeacation’. Besides, health activist, Dr. Saini observed, that with such extensive 24x7 coverage using installed cameras, some people might unreasonably feel shy to enter the toilets. He gave a detailed diagrammatic explanation to explain the psychological thought process of an individual who enters such a toilet. It was brilliant. Not even Mona could give such an exposition.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The faculty wanted a concerted effort to create awareness for Total Sanitation to be implemented.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The renowned thinker and philosopher, Ajit Patil, after consuming a quarter, however gave a more practical method of implementing Total sanitation. His idea was to have NREGA workers armed with air guns to patrol the village fields in the early mornings.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Soon after that, Dr.Gunwant gave an emotional talk on gender issues which left the thinker, philosopher & Social scientist, Pausumi Basu wondering whatz the difference between gender and sex. After meditation, it dawned upon her that as far as she was concerned one is a verb and the other a noun.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">On Monday, we had an uncle who came to talk to us on how he was forever hounded by all the District Collectors because they were all hydrophobic. This uncle was the only sensible person left on the planet and only he knows how rain happens, how rivers are formed and how oceans are filled up. It was lovely to listen to him. With 4 snaps and a kurta, he could hold us spell bound for 2 hours. He advised the Government on water issues. This monsoon season, he is very much occupied as he is currently advising God almighty.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The most interesting session this </span></span><span class="il" style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 204); background-position: initial initial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">week</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> was a discussion on ‘to be or not to be’ led by 10 fools who had ‘never been’ but hope ‘to be’ and made to so discuss by those who ‘have been’…all initiated by a write up by someone foreigner who ‘has never been’ and 'will never be', quoting someone who ‘had been’ and who probably wants nobody else ‘to be’. It ended on a positive note probaabbbly because primaarilly it could not end on any other note.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Today we were visited by an uncle who is suspected to carry swine flu virus. We had dinner together, we standing and the uncle sitting. My friends and I always kept a distance of 3.5 metres from him, while our teachers and seniors were jumping around him. They were probably expecting some special dish called empanelment-masala. He followed a highly unpredictable trajectory while having soup and hit upon many unsuspecting pupils who were keen to avoid him. Every time he coughed, we shuddered.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Tomorrow is the big day Papa! Granny Chabbees foot Traditionwali, the chairman of our school management is arriving tomorrow. The entire school has been spruced up. We just hope that as has been happening with our batch throughout, this event may also be cancelled happily and we may get our </span></span><span class="il" style="background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 204); background-position: initial initial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">week</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> end back!</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Btw, I heard that on the next weekend we’ll be forcibly asked to enjoy a pleasure trip.</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Nothing else Papa, allz fine here.... Bye…</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Love,</span></span></span></b></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-align: justify; "><b><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Bitiya Rani</span></span></span></b></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><b><br /></b></div></span>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1281599140416624872009-07-12T19:59:00.007+05:302009-07-14T19:40:57.454+05:30Letters from a daughter to her father:Week 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCwPnhKRNd2gMh1GoAwHFWe0Z1bT6UZs63mCTRk0RM96KVLJ0KNDIM58siJDddELBQS512712WzOr0_hf5ZnNwbfU2NJCs9NxpRB8jENsM6Zad9lR73MrKnBvZ7QLH6xd-LofqAQ/s1600-h/letter_for_blog.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCwPnhKRNd2gMh1GoAwHFWe0Z1bT6UZs63mCTRk0RM96KVLJ0KNDIM58siJDddELBQS512712WzOr0_hf5ZnNwbfU2NJCs9NxpRB8jENsM6Zad9lR73MrKnBvZ7QLH6xd-LofqAQ/s400/letter_for_blog.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358317976541311506" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:7;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size:48px;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color:black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b>26 June 2009</b></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color:black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dear friends...Since nobody has taken up the task of stealing and publishing Bitiya rani's letter this week, I once again take upon myself this onerous task. On the wonderful occasion of completion of the 2nd week at the Academy, I present the second in the series of “Letters from a Daughter to the Father". As always, don't ask me from where I got the letter!</span></span></span></span></span></p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span style="color:black;"></span></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dear Papa,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You won’t believe me….I talked to one of the numerous flies in our Mess. And the fly talked back to me! I seem to have become a Dr.Dolittly. My friendly fly is “e”, a tamilian fly in the Mess. He has been in our school for quite some time and is very knowledgeable. “E” has so many fundas that he has learnt from our esteemed faculty. He always keeps telling that ‘probaabbly a super cyclone is waiting to primaarilly acktually happen if the system is not reformed in the immediate conceivable future with concerted and co-ordinated effort from all stake holders who could in all probaabbility be an unassuming entity primaarrily intended to involve themselves in the affairs of Koraput while I was traveling with the SP’…. . I often fail to understand such profound language that he has imbibed from the learned. Nevertheless, we had a good conversation. In the future mails, I’ll tell more of the tit bits that he gave…</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Our class teacher Ashish sir told us that yet another face would be put on display in the coming days. You know, I’m myself already into 2nd face now. I saw quite a 4th face people also. I heard that 3 faced people would soon be joining our school. How exciting!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">This week, the main learning point is that even practical things can be presented as theory. Our teachers can even teach swimming in the classroom within the first 100 days. I heard they’re planning a postal course on swimming with online feedback mechanism. We’re eagerly waiting for this.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Our daily meditation is going on nice. A Ashok and B Ashok Committes look after acoustics and music content respectively while Nila Mohanan Committee keeps watch on the birthdays of the students. During meditations, renowned researchers, Dr.Neeraj and Dr. Saini were seen conducting serious studies on the body weight apportionment on either lobes of the posterior while sitting in meditation. Papa, things are really changing and everything is getting modern. Things have become quite fashionable and a new and strong clamour for 3 piece swimsuits in the school is heard very loud and vocal. Our uncle, the man of few words is in the leadership of what is now referred to as the 3 piece swimsuit-movement. History will remember this movement as 3PSS Movement.</span></div><span style="color:black;"> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div> <span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">One fine morning, Nila Mohanan Committee introduced Japanese music by one Mr.Katori Kuttakari which sent tremors through the spines of dessert lovers like Sanjay bhayya. He recollected that the dessert katoris have recently become micro sizes. Such conservatives have always discouraged administrative reforms. We expect that micros and mini micros may also make an entry as an innovation.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The other day, we were meditating right under the shade of the memorial for martyrs, an eerie patriotic song was played that really startled me. Most of us felt that we’re being prepared to make the supreme sacrifice. Speaking of martyrs, my friend Ajit Patil denied any links with the latest martyr in Madhya Pradesh. Ajit claims to be quite a straight guy.</span></div></span></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Conducting time-motion studies on students is another development by the school administration. For accomplishing this, unlimited motion has been ensured for all students through critical bowel intervention. The time motion studies have now acquired a momentum of its own and no force is able to contain it. This is referred to as attaining critical velocity, making the entire experience pretty loose.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Today we saw an 1850 Bangla movie called “Ration” (kindly pronounce it the Bangla way) which questions basic concepts like time, space, brain etc. It was our classmate Chaitra’s Birthday treat to the class. People who had seen the silent version of the movie 4 times and didn’t understand it had the opportunity to hear the dialogues for the first time.</span></div><span style="color:black;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div> <span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It was an emotional movie on implementation of NREGA in a forest area. It shows two NREGA workers trying to dig pits by poking locally made swords in the soil. The heroine is the Panchayat President, Kamalakshi Amma. During the course of the movie, it so happens that an ant is killed by one of the workers. Then they sit together and describe various versions of how the ant was killed. There is heavy rainfall and Mallika Sherawat does an item number in the background. They are not able to come to a conclusion and they are thoroughly confused because of the distraction by Mallika in the background. At the climax, the BDO tells them that it was a National Permit Ashok Leyland lorry that ran over the ant. The driver of this truck is then arrested by the local SI and his mustache is shaved off as a mark of respect to the late ant. Without mustache, the NREGA workers are not able to identify the lorry driver and thus the confusion continues as to what is the ultimate truth. Truth has many faces, with and without mustaches.</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div> <span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Whereever the movie was screened, it has always left the viewers with a lot of disturbing questions like… Who will refund my tickets? Did the Gram Sabha select the beneficiary for NREGA? Which blade was used</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">to shave the driver? Was castrol used in the lorry engine? Were the muster rolls properly kept? Was IAY implemented there? .….so on and so forth.</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div> <span class="apple-style-span"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">This is considered as a classic movie and 101 interpretations of the movie have come out. The director is no more and it is speculated that he committed suicide after hearing one of the interpretations in which both the NREGA workers develop a passionate gay relationship which the Panchayat President does not approve of on account of the medieval morality concepts.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">On the whole, this week was fine and I’ll mail next week, provided I’m fine till then.</span></div></span></span><b><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Lots of love,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Bitiya Rani</span></span></div></b></span>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-74211960159440784732009-07-12T19:51:00.004+05:302009-07-26T20:32:47.390+05:30Letters from a daughter to her father: Week 1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh8B5iViWVdHlelpS4Ay3ZvC1N1MHF4qwIfmgpaDaZiDRULl32LyrX-CsIPLD_5VP6KPvQuiyyu4qo6Vmbg45XBaYDCx8txii_3v2Q5nYkOfCBQaw__QCxjk8K7tEicFLjp37Szg/s1600-h/print3.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358318629912319458" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 280px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh8B5iViWVdHlelpS4Ay3ZvC1N1MHF4qwIfmgpaDaZiDRULl32LyrX-CsIPLD_5VP6KPvQuiyyu4qo6Vmbg45XBaYDCx8txii_3v2Q5nYkOfCBQaw__QCxjk8K7tEicFLjp37Szg/s400/print3.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse;font-family:arial;font-size:13;" ><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">19 June 2009</span></b></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2pxfont-size:13;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px"></span>One week up!</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">On this auspicious occasion of concluding the first week of Phase II training in the Academy, let me have the privilege of publishing the first in a weekly series on </span></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">“Letters from a daughter to her Father”.</span></span></i></b></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">P.S- Don’t ask me how I got these letters!</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Dear Papa,</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">I reached Mussoorie comfortably and my first week went off very soundly and sleepily. First day was basically looting and I lost Rs.1205/- in the first round. Very coarse briefs were supplied thereafter and this evoked different languages from most our friends here. These languages were tested and certified in a place called Sampoornanad. Historians tell me that once upon a time, there were persons by this name! How horrible…</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Everyday morning all students do frog jump and other rituals to please the mountain Gods. This continues. As you know, the local custom is not to bathe for days. The school is helping us to adjust to this local tradition. Now a new local custom of wearing unwashed clothes is also fast catching up. The Laundromats have also been shut to facilitate this.</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">2</span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">nd</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"> standard class is not really different from 1</span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">st</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"> standard except that we can now slowly understand what is going on around us. Maybe it is a stage in the development of the brain. Lessons are not very difficult and this year I may pass without tuition. Many of my friends have ditched their old friends in 1</span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">st</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"> standard and have become chums with new. Angry old friends said that it was for sitting on a better bench. I am convinced that certain benches are indeed uncomfortable, unless one has been brought up sitting on those very benches. For example, my bench is the made of the old coconut tree that stood in out backyard- I find it wonderful to sit on. My bench-mate Ajit is developing a taste for coconut of late. Govind tells me that his bench is full of thorns, while Suhas says his is so comfortable that he feels like a King. I recall that Karl Marx rightly said that the beauty of a bench lies in the tough posterior of the beholder. We should ask Sanket as well, but he was in mourning.</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">One of these days here, I met a long haired nice uncle who reminded me of my Great grand Uncle who used to tell me happy-ending stories. This uncle was sooooo nice! I bet he said many goody goody things; I was meditating and hence could not hear much. But it must have been good. As you know, my concentration during meditation is immense.</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">My meditation has become even stronger after a new meditation ritual has been started in the school. After a heavy breakfast we are supposed to sit erect in the garden and meditate for half an hour. We usually count the travelling ants if meditation doesn't happen fast. Music is also played so as to mask sounds which are locally referred to as snores. One uncle sits throughout staring at us. He knows only 4 sentences and 2 verses which he repeats everyday with great precision. But by his looks and expression, he seems contented with whatever he knows. Boy, what calmness…what composure….I’m almost tempted to place a cracker under his seat. No papa, I won’t do that.</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Papa, that didi whose daddy comes and gives us a speech whenever he visits her, has finally passed out of the school. Our prayers have been answered, or else we would have heard that uncle in 3</span></span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">rd</span></span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"> standard also. Papa, you are always right, God is great.</span></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Btw, a new teacher from Patna came the other day to teach Aitty Vaitty. He looked dashing and Anindita didi asked him for an autograph. He instead gave a photograph and took the next train to Patna. I don’t know why. We were then told to make friends with him; but then I remembered what Mummy had said- never talk to strangers. I hope I did the right thing. Nila didi has said that I did the right thing. A dashing young lady teacher with American accent also came to take class and my close friend Mohanraj took a special liking for her, but she just shook his hands and said bye. None of us could meditate in this class as our eyes were popping out.</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">And finally Papa, Madan, the boy with the bag who was on </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Maunvrat</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"> finally spoke today. Indeed we humans are nothing before technology. I’ll mail you next week, Papa. Hope I’m okay till then.</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Yours lovingly,</span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"></span></span></span></p><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><span style="font-size:+0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Bitiya rani</span></span></span></p></span>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-44283246523255268112008-04-21T19:04:00.000+05:302008-05-18T16:51:48.016+05:30Are you happy?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeh_HxqkVU-Zy9IFeSpp4pn1C89zDJNyhsMzIwjk4IsXzm-O_r0bwTp4cu0N_CQ6uXaGAiiCDNEbI4G9uxgBdvVSSbc2NNbh3TPDDC1-deQMUuKHakguerfm3nALw2qoWqCt57gg/s1600-h/india+day+,+farewell+006.jpg"></a><div align="justify"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0pWeVHTgq79q1fNpdBIcDrtyoWL9OSzeNcX9uIpJnVsIDqdYITHxVHJatGtyomDY1CHd7ssn3JPy1jfBKVnn1ezJNskz5TK9jZlHHL4JFGPk240ROzNMpgg7qybCoUvF1t-_P5g/s1600-h/india+day+,+farewell+109.jpg"></a>Are you happy? If you honestly answer this question, with no politically or intellectually correct formulations and formulae, I believe there is some reason to read on.<br />What is this something outside each one of us which seems to pull us so much so that you want to cease to be yourself, and be subsumed in some other identity; yet not be willing enough to absolutely forego the individuality or ‘ego’? You always wanted to be something else. You are not satisfied with what you are at any point of time. There is something which tells you about something further, just across the mountain, something like a promised land, something like a mirage which keeps moving even as you advance.<br />Now, one could argue that this is the innate urge for perfection. Conversely, it could be that shameless materialist within you seeking something outside all the while, without realizing that peace and contentment is within you. You can subscribe to any of these views depending on your ideological presumptions, philosophy of life and inherent biases, but the question remains unanswered: are you happy? If your philosophy of life doesn’t give you happiness or contentment, what worth is it to you…or is your Philosophy of Life for mere academic consumption?<br />Ultimately isn’t every shade of philosophical thought a pretext to rationalization of life? Rationalization, justification and reconciliation of ones urges, needs, selfish deeds, motives and all those subtle unexplainable elements which determine human behaviour is cleverly secured through ‘philosophy’. This is not to denigrate philosophy but to try and understand the utility of philosophy. </div><div align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieRHBotFlwVpdhYHbdhS0m4S3Kk8x0dSUsrrvgK0PMto401cirUyMoV_9UKcljO2sMZAWCssGeluxEoR0VVSWRc1niSDefrGlF0o47dL_DjXytHEYIa3Y-92sFOeHjRvijsQSDXw/s1600-h/A_16_people_culture_entry3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201676092821398594" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 322px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 223px" height="237" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieRHBotFlwVpdhYHbdhS0m4S3Kk8x0dSUsrrvgK0PMto401cirUyMoV_9UKcljO2sMZAWCssGeluxEoR0VVSWRc1niSDefrGlF0o47dL_DjXytHEYIa3Y-92sFOeHjRvijsQSDXw/s320/A_16_people_culture_entry3.jpg" width="356" border="0" /></a>Coming back to the question; are you happy… the answer would be predicated by what philosophy you subscribe to. The sad fact is that the dominant philosophy of popular culture is one that values ‘success’ as its desired goal or objective which incidentally is hammered into the cognitia of everyone from childhood. Success here would connote not mere materialistic success but a wider entity. Consequentially, a subscriber to popular philosophical thought would see the terminal value of success as the sole rationalization of his life and deeds. And resultantly, failure signifies a breakdown of philosophy and hence lack of rationalization of life and effort. With the breakdown of rationalization of the apparatus of life, one ends up being discontented and unhappy. </div><br /><div align="justify"><br />Now, how common is success? Life is not so generous. Not more than 2% of all human effort would result in success if one seriously thinks of it. To those who felt 2% is pessimistic, let me suggest that even 2% is quite an overestimation. Of all the cumulated desires, urges, wishes, aspirations and the resultant efforts indulged in by an average human being, is it not true that bulk of these go unsatisfied? And in such circumstances, should a philosophy that has as its terminal value an attribute available only for 2% be the norm? What about the 98% which seeks to rationalize failure? The popular philosophical thoughts of the day give him no room for rationalization or justification of his failure. He is doomed. He is sad. He is discontented.<br />To be happy, you need a philosophy of life that justifies and accepts failure, if not eulogize it. To put it bluntly, winners do not need to philosophize. It is the losers who need a philosophy. A philosophy which ignores 98% of humanity is not worth its name.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;color:#993399;"><strong>(The snap is of a school child in Katekalyan, Dantewada enjoying her mid-day meal. She was happy.)</strong></span> </div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-26367131967891399362008-04-21T18:48:00.000+05:302008-04-21T19:01:38.818+05:30Capitalist Blogger<div align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoy6NOGCWYYOwwr_ZSZdESPPQOZltGyn19p43kX-2WZqT5SVXOSnLN5ufohuQ-hp5GxvNlO93zT02TN0WyUz3OQg8L7doGJb5AVKySAvF4Rn8onEAGTRfcOI9dQvBnXdinfsdHHw/s1600-h/PiratesCoveCoins.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191690197548983026" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoy6NOGCWYYOwwr_ZSZdESPPQOZltGyn19p43kX-2WZqT5SVXOSnLN5ufohuQ-hp5GxvNlO93zT02TN0WyUz3OQg8L7doGJb5AVKySAvF4Rn8onEAGTRfcOI9dQvBnXdinfsdHHw/s400/PiratesCoveCoins.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />People who came over here would've found that I was away for a while. Others who did not come over to find that out deserve no acknowledgement from me. To hell with them. I was really busy over the week.I didnt update my blog for long. I've valid reasons and excuses my friends... </div><div align="justify"><br />Last week, one of my friends bought a Mercedes E class. He didn't know to drive it properly. Since I'm well accustomed to driving Mercedes since childhood,I offered to teach him. But I often get confused with the gear handle of my BMW with that of my Merc... it was a very difficult task for me.So this kept me very busy for so many days...I hope u wud all sympathise with me.Life is indeed very difficult. Especially if u belong to high places. </div><div align="justify"><br />Meanwhile, my latest ipod fell into the jug of imported vintage french beer when I bent forward to take my gold chain which had fallen across the kashmir carpet in my private bar. I really really hate ipods that smell beer. Just when I was going to throw it from the fifth floor of my small house, my conscience pricked me. I decided to auction it for charity.I really wonder what a wonderful place this world would be if everyone thought and behaved responsibly like me. But yeah, it is always difficult to behave responsibly. Life is indeed difficult, more so when u are high among the highest. And as u know, as a hi-fi person I'm next only to the famous diamond mearchant, Varghese Patwari. </div><div align="justify"><br />Btw,I had to urgently pay a visit to the plantation estate as well. The bloody workers there were demanding a wage hike. This was the 7th time they were demanding a hike this year. I always knew that they were born greedy. So I never listened to their earlier 6 demands. I won't mind their 7th either. Greedy beggars. To hell with them.<br />On the way back I gifted Rum bottles to the Union leader as a token of respect.He wrapped it in the pages of a Communist Manifesto to hide it from the gaze of dirty drunkards who wud do anything to get it. </div><div align="justify"><br />That night I had a decent party at my Bunglow with classic champagne flowing all over.Boy it was fun. But thats how hectic life is. Very difficult indeed. </div><div align="justify"><br />Until yesterday, I had to tend to the stream of celebrity guests who had come to see my new dog's kennel. With a higher pedigree dog comes higher responsibility. The bone-warming function was conducted by Bejan Bonewalla, the famous astro-palmist and leggist. It was morning 3.30 when the last guest departed. Still I managed to attend the afternoon seminar on Food Crisis in Guatimala. Its not impossible to do so many things and yet be a blogger.But yes, life is indeed difficult for people like me.</div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-12161241605097718052008-04-21T18:41:00.000+05:302008-04-21T18:45:33.288+05:30Losing Bachelorhood<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxG6BrbrR2K2GgiKssb7imje_q29jRWm6KNVGGQ1DokLmXJ9_JdWotuBL2zXGw5eG3XfHdrJ7gO-916-AmKOzd-8DYN2yzq_L_3Toc9jci2BZKGolNX1-3MYi-kaE-N6K7o2BcoA/s1600-h/c65c.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191686117330051810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxG6BrbrR2K2GgiKssb7imje_q29jRWm6KNVGGQ1DokLmXJ9_JdWotuBL2zXGw5eG3XfHdrJ7gO-916-AmKOzd-8DYN2yzq_L_3Toc9jci2BZKGolNX1-3MYi-kaE-N6K7o2BcoA/s400/c65c.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>It was sometime in the early 1990s, when I was in the 6th or 7th grade that I actually understood the gravity of losing bachlorhood. Our beloved Edwin sir, who taught us malayalam, used to wear white shirt and white dhoti/mundu. On one fateful day, he came to the school without wearing mundu. It was quite a scene.<br />Those without perverted mindsets would've understood that he shifted to pants and jeans. The mundu-era had ended for him.The next week on, he started wearing T-shirts too...something totally unexpected of a puritan like him.It was something like Pt.Bhimsen Joshi singing rap.Those who knew Edwin sir were baffled.We kids, nevertheless enjoyed the transition.<br />The reason for the change:He got married.<br />In our school, we had a friend by the name of a South Indian deity, whose abode is not accessible to women.(I'll not name him considering the risks involved.)However, he was very much found in the company of women, especially during the college days.Everytime I met him, his girl friend was brand new.The final news that came in was that he married yet another girl(ie. none of the 10-15 ex-girl friends) of the junior batch in his college.A Punjabi kudi.<br />His second love was beer.After marriage, he totally quit beer.ie.complete avoidance of beer. Instead he took up Vodka.<br />The reason for the change: marriage.<br />Another guy who did his masters from a well reputed Institute in India went to the US to make money.He felt as if he were the moon, up above the earth, viewing the earth from a distance..detatched from it..no responsibilities..nobody to question..and lots of money.One fine day,he was forced to marry by his parents.Immediately he started blogging.<br />Another friend of mine, two days after his marriage, sent me an urgent SMS. He wanted me to buy a recharge coupon for his cell phone.That was strange request. He is holding a responsible position in the government and draws a decent salary.Its I who used to ask him to buy this and that, given my then status as 'unemployed youth of India'.Anyway, I bought the recharge-talktime coupon and sent him the 'secret number' by SMS.Then I called him to verify the position.I was greeted by an Airtel "aunty" who told me in Kannada that my friend is 'out of range'.Boy..he is in Karnataka!( For the uninitiated and millions of my international readers, KARNATAKA is our neighbouring state. And btw, if you don't know yet,'we' live in KERALA.)So thats why he wanted a recharge coupon from some one in KERALA. Fine.So far fine.<br />Later,the real shock came when I was told later on that he was in Bandipur with his wife for honeymooning(no word like that?But its apt, na?)Now, the point is that this is a guy who is mortally scared of snakes, frogs, cats, dogs, cows, mosquitoes,house flies,deer,giraffe, hippos,horses, rhinos, rats,bats,lizards,antelopes,elephants, lions, tigers,leopards,oxen,centipede,millipede,all varieties of worms,and above all ants.Certain varieties of plants also manage to scare him. And this guy takes his newly wed wife for honeymooning to Bandipur! Of all places, Bandipur! Rediculous.<br />The reason for the new macho-make over: marriage.<br />In short, marriage alters life. Some changes may be as drastic as a change from beer to Vodka. Other changes may be silly like shedding mundu for jeans.It could in rare cases stimulate blogging. Whats your view on this...?<br />P.S: None of the perons mentioned here are real or living.If anyone finds any similarity, kindly keep it in your own mind.I assure you, its not you.</div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-14795726894808008142008-04-21T18:28:00.001+05:302008-04-21T19:09:11.620+05:30The Communist Blogger<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6_EUCF1rc9QiGIPTRPks-2B4lR0D9TF8wEWBA1S9rAeJB86a5OTRwRxT1_on04jtXiTJ_yGjp5XRU0CzogVhF88OFKaQyyAhczXZz4nbXS-5Sxwd9GvBahyphenhypheni1YbI9vQ0B_UxidQ/s1600-h/5850.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191684266199147218" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6_EUCF1rc9QiGIPTRPks-2B4lR0D9TF8wEWBA1S9rAeJB86a5OTRwRxT1_on04jtXiTJ_yGjp5XRU0CzogVhF88OFKaQyyAhczXZz4nbXS-5Sxwd9GvBahyphenhypheni1YbI9vQ0B_UxidQ/s400/5850.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Dear friends,<br />I was very busy for a while..<br />Meanwhile, I reformed. I've become a born again marxist. I gave up beer and whisky. Religion is an intoxicant. So I gave up Christian Brother's rum too. Now, I drink only Romanov Vodka. Purely secular.<br />My favourite colour is red and favourite food is 'parippu vada' and chai.My official mouth piece is beedi. I love lungi, especially the tied up version.( Neo-colonial capitalist studies estimate that 70% work time is lost in communist kerala as a result of the tying and retying of the lungi.) I regularly rinse my mouth with party slogans and eat boiled red rice.<br />I own quite a few industries (to create workers for the revolution) and business establishments in the name of the party.I'm a poor man basically. You could either address me as a poor fisherman or as a humble farmer. The choice is yours.<br />I firmly believe that one day, there will be a final revolution. Then all capitalists would be flushed out of this world.Only the workers will survive.People who think this is similar to the Final Judgement day are either capitalist imperialist spies or revisionist traitors.Anyway, for that day to come, we have to unite and address our daily slogans to St.Marx, our prophet.<br />Btw, we are facing certain Y2K like problems when we consider the Dictatorship of the proletariat.For instance some of us may have to leave our beloved work and become rulers. And as a rule, we hate rulers. So we'll kill them.That would be a perpetual problem as we'll kill all workers that way.Secondly, once we kill all the managers and owners of the industries, who will pay us wages at the end of the day? Anyway, all such issues could be dealt with at that time.The Polit Bureau is actively considering this issue besides next month's Bandh and hartal.<br />Our prophets, St.Marx,St.Lenin,St.Mao and St.Stalin are infallible, therefore always correct. We have other comrades waiting to be beatified. Once they are declared as Saints, their books shall be taught in the party study classes.<br />Guys, no more time for small talk....we've to rush to the next junction to throw a few urgent stones on the nearest bus. We need to register our protest against the imperial agression in Iraq. Bush will be terrified after this protest march.</div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-45326297163542925262008-04-21T18:20:00.001+05:302009-07-14T22:40:45.927+05:301100 years of solitude<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0Fr75YtdgamBs8cz_JEPGgRZByomTBffJ745Q2Ggf3g2QNzLmkEBDvOkvgow0IzUijoYa-6R7FUSSoytxoTnfumCZZ7MQueG3brNhpHU3ZOdp-5tPsPRQ-EXmCFtKjuKDiwtpw/s1600-h/1401.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191681672038900418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz0Fr75YtdgamBs8cz_JEPGgRZByomTBffJ745Q2Ggf3g2QNzLmkEBDvOkvgow0IzUijoYa-6R7FUSSoytxoTnfumCZZ7MQueG3brNhpHU3ZOdp-5tPsPRQ-EXmCFtKjuKDiwtpw/s320/1401.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;color:#ff0000;"><strong>This is a surreal narration with a tinge of magical realism. Children may seek parental guidance.Parents may seek their children's guidance.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;"></span><br />Once upon a time, there was a young boy called Mukesh Batliwala who lived in a forest near the village. Similarly, there lived a lion in a village near the forest. One fine day, the boy decided to go out to the village in search of water and cocacola. The climate was really hot (unlike in Shimla). In the forest there lived a small family of 23 members. The youngest in the family was Ursula. Her mother’s name was Brihandala.<br />Meanwhile, the Sensex had gone on to new heights from where the girls’s father was finding it difficult to get down without a ladder. But the lion was keeping a keen watch on all proceedings. (You must remember that the local hunter, Shikari Shambhu was out of station). After sensing the gravity of the situation, Newton initiated a dialogue process with all concerned parties to arrive at a mutually acceptable solution, which would also respect the rights and aspirations of the Kashmiri people. Suddenly, the father fell down along with the Sensex. Mukesh and Ursula had also fallen in love by this time. Meanwhile, the lion was caught in a compromising position along with a local bar waitress which led to mass resignations from the bar council. NDTV had indeed made an impact.<br />By then it was over 1100 years since Mukesh Batliwala had gone out in search of water and cocacola. He had become very aged and the cocacola ads had become too complex for him to understand. Suddenly he saw ants carrying a bottle of Mineral water along the ground. “Ursula….”, he shouted and fell down. And he was no more.</div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1146769579007750652006-05-05T00:32:00.000+05:302006-05-05T00:36:19.013+05:30Health hazards with risky humour<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/Joke%20book.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/Joke%20book.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />A personal disaster occured to me of late when I was beaten black and blue by a gentleman who thought I was rediculing him. I regretfuly recall that I had innocently, and in retrospect, needlessly commented ( eh..my usual stuff!) on my friend's blog. The subject was re-remotely connected to this gentleman. Other learned Professors, including Prof.Alexander were also there to give company. All of us were put in our respective places by this gentleman who taught us that our poor "jwaaakes" will not be tolerated by him. Consequently I suffered a shock. I spent the next four hours in deep meditation in a den, alternately called as my room. I got enlightenment. I pass on the gospel on 'risky humour' to the society at large....<br />A voice from the heaven told me that Humour is defined as the ability of people, objects, or situations to evoke feelings of amusement in other people. Its a form of human communication which makes people laugh or feel happy.<br />The voice then startled me with the revelation that sense of humour is the ability to experience humour. This referred to as First Law of Humourology.It depends on variables like geographical location, intelligence, culture, maturity, level of education and context. For example, young children particularly favour slapstick( as in cartoons) while satire tends to appeal to more mature audiences.<br />The next revelation was the Second Law of Humourology. It states that jokes are funny only when told the first time.(ie. mostly..unless its too good a joke or ur audience is too dumb.)<br />Intense Meditation then revealed to me that the important ingredients in humour:<br />The relevance factor.<br />The surprise factor.<br />The novelty factor.<br />For example:<br />A man speaks to his doctor after an operation. He says, "Doc, now that the surgery is done, will I be able to play the piano?" The doctor replies, "Of course!" The man says, "Good, because I couldn't before!"<br />Hope u get it. No? Forget it.<br />Humour is of various kinds but I'll just move on to my favourite kinds of humour...ie. the risky variety which could pose problems:<br />Sarcasm, Irony, Surreal humour, Satire, Stereotypes, Droll humor, Anti-humor and Nonsense jokes....Good, did I give u a fright? Read on to be further terrified...and yes, these are the most dangerous of all humour!<br />Sarcasm is sneering, jesting, or mocking a person, situation or thing. It is expressed as over-emphasizing.To understand sarcasm requires good general intelligence and better social intelligence. Sarcasm can be difficult to grasp in written form and is easily misinterpreted. To prevent this some people end sarcastic comments on the Internet with an emoticon emphasize words with italics, bold, and/or underlining. But that can also kill a joke!( But again, it can land u in trouble as I did crash land the other day!)<br />Irony is a gap or incongruity between what a speaker or a writer says, and what is understood.<br />"You have the face of a pig" is sarcasm: "Your face is so beautiful..... for a pig" is ironic.<br />Surreal humour is a form of humour based on bizarre, absurd situations, and nonsense logic.Probably the most common form of surreal humour is the non-sequitur, in which one statement is followed by another with no logical progression.<br />The learned Prof.Varghese Panamthundil Alexander specialises in this. Yeah, Karthik's limericks too show this quality! I'm also a fan of this style when you just don't have to follow time or logic. (Thus you can have Sonia Gandhi& Maneka Gandhi intervening to stop India's partition in 1478.)<br />Satire is a mode of challenging accepted notions by making them seem ridiculous.It requires an opponent who is sensitive to feel the arrows of wit levelled at him.On the other hand, some works of satire are so subtle in their exaggeration that many people take it seriously true.(Again, a problem that I encountered the other day!)<br />Priya often does beautiful satires...I remember one in which she ascribes inanimate things with motives and intentions. It is not necessary that one should have a underlying inner meaning as in The Animal Farm by Orwell.<br />Droll humor is an often dry, witty form of humor that elicits laughs through amusingly odd, sometimes zany behavior or speech. Due to its more subtle nature, this type of humor is not commonly used by comedians.An example is gven below...<br />I'm alone in the House. I hear strange noises at night like creak, groan and "Prasanth, I'm going to kill you." ...So I remembered what my mother told me, "Whenever you feel afraid just whistle a happy tune... [whistling] ...then I felt a hand around my throat and a voice said, "Thanks. I thought I'd never find you in the dark."<br />Anyone reminded of Sowmi shtyle?<br />Anti-humor is a type of indirect humour that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value.<br />Anti-jokes may rely on deconstruction of the joke, deriving comedy from the unexpected or inappropriate use of technical language<br />It could sometimes cross over and become a meta-joke:<br />"Three blind mice walk into a bar. Hmm...They are unaware of their surroundings, so it would be irresponsible to derive humour from their predicament."<br />Yeah, Varghese does that too!<br />Nonsense jokes lack intrinsic meaning, and become funny simply because they are absurd:<br />Q: What is the difference between a duck?<br />A: A slice of soup about this color. (said while indicating some width with one's hands)<br />Made any sense? Precisely. Funny? Well, it depends on the delivery mechanism!<br />Stereotype Often a stereotype is a negative caricature or inversion of some positive characteristic possessed by members of a group, exaggerated to the point where it becomes repulsive or ridiculous.<br />Stereotype production is based on:<br />Simplification<br />Exaggeration or distortion<br />Generalization<br />The innumerable Sardarji jokes are based on this variety. Ever heard of a Sardar taking offence to it? Just imagine a proper well built Sardar pouncing on you.....its not that they can't repond. Its just that they are too good and are really fun loving guys with great humour sense!<br />Not all groups are like this. And there are individuals who are very intolerant of criticism and who lack humour sense proper! So beware...<br />So, one can easily sense that my preferred kind of humour is....well... sort of dangerous. If I overuse it, it's like chilli, it will burn the entire stuff. A little here and there spices things up but you don't make many friends by sprinkling it in everything. And unfortunately if anyone with a "differently abled" sense of humour comes in the way, you are doomed!Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1146769135165339402006-05-05T00:20:00.000+05:302008-04-21T19:12:14.747+05:30True History revealed!<div align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwsvF32nyJBPiBZSnXxlQOTdhfodQngE0o0N1E0zQxE3q8fMzjGOzqZ_VzVZpuiEimKjLig57gSveOxw8qSxkvWRPXcJ1h9N7tkO8N0j3zDFZRIyc_R_L-cr_QxyW1L42JXvakjw/s1600-h/his.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191693337170076434" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwsvF32nyJBPiBZSnXxlQOTdhfodQngE0o0N1E0zQxE3q8fMzjGOzqZ_VzVZpuiEimKjLig57gSveOxw8qSxkvWRPXcJ1h9N7tkO8N0j3zDFZRIyc_R_L-cr_QxyW1L42JXvakjw/s400/his.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The true history hitherto unrevealed and suppressed by vested interests is finally exposed!<br />It is usually the vanquisher and the winner who scripts the "History" and it is his version that finds a place in history books and school text books. Now, for the first time in World History, the independant and true version of History is brought to you without fear or favour to any section, race, nation, sex or ideology. This shall be presented to the world community as a lecture series on this blog. World famous Historians, <a href="http://360.yahoo.com/profile-V7JCW3InerRAPbCmNN5T9Bl_nC.P.ErvBo4-?cq=1">Prof. Varghese Panamthundil Alexander </a>& Prof.<a href="http://360.yahoo.com/prasantham">Prasanth Nambron.</a> (myself-editor) shall provide expert guidance and advice. Other visiting experts can post their learned comments. It shall be incorporated into the minutes of the discussion as the lecture proceeds.This World Historians Meet shall be a churning out of truth, ultimate truth.<br />The introductory Episode shall deal with Modern World History. The moderator is Shrimati Lahari. An extract of the preliminary discussion is hereby produced:<br />Lahari: Welcome gentlemen. Sirs, could you provide a picture of India's partition? Were the Britishers to be blamed for this? Then why do we hate Pakistan more than we hate the british?<br />Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): Lahari, YOU GOT YOUR FACTS COMPLETELY WRONG.. This is what really happened: When Jinnah asked for a different country in 1940, pakistanis supported it, But gandhiji opposed it. Later with support from Bangladesh, Pakistanis got Jinnah to form a new country which also got a part of Kashmir. Later after independance India fought a lot of battles with China to get a part of China and later traded that with Pakistan to get that piece of Kashmir from Pakistan. Its still not resolved because China is asking for US mediation in this while India is asking for SriLanka to mediate in this issue. I HOPE NOW THINGS ARE A LITTLE CLEAR TO YOU.<br />Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): We need to understand the historical facts correctly. Prof.Alexander has given a slightly lopsided version. He has put the bulk of the blame on the Bangladeshis while it were the Sinhalese population settled in Punjab who initially supported Jinnah.The Sinhalese were initially linked to the Trincomali based LTTE which then played a vital role in co-ordinating India's partition.And when Rajiv Gandhi opposed this, he was killed. Despite strong protest from Sonia Gandhi and Maneka Gandhi, India was partitioned.We shud also remember at this juncture that Chinese guns were used by the Vietnamese soldiers against the Americans.Subramaniam Swamy had opposed this also among many other things.Despite this, India lost the test series in Pakistan.On other facts, I agree with Prof.Alexander.<br />Lahari: Thank you Sirs. I am enlightened. Now, why is cricket between India & Pakistan such a big issue? Why are we backward in most games..any historic reasons?<br />Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): See, Brits not only arranged cricket matches but also hockey,kabbadi and kho kho between communities to prevent unity...this called "Divide & Rule Policy". After the Brits left, nobody conducted these, and thus we became backward in sports.Thus infact our backwardness in sports is due to the abrupt leaving of Brits...This has occured all over the world. In such a condition the sportspersons are referred to as "Subsidiary aliens". This causes real backwardsness in sports.<br />Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA):But there is one good thing that Britishers did, driving India backwards, India went so backwards that India started getting medals in Swimming backstroke event. In 1969 Olympics, India's Chitra Iyer became 4th in 97m women's Backstroke event. The best timing by any Indian woman in Olympics. She is currently playing in Indian woman's football team in Left back wing position.<br />Lahari: Thats indeed exciting.... Historically speaking how do you see Chitra Iyer's performance in the last century and in this Millenium?<br />Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): We need a Geriatric approach to understand this. Chitra Iyer was indeed fabulous in the 1969 back stroke event.Her coach who had endured mild strokes earlier migrated from Pakistan through South Korea to coach her.<br />One trivia which most people do not know is that Chitra Iyer, besides being a wonderful Left back wing player of football, excels in Full back position in the current womens Hockey team under the pseudonym of Lata Mangeshkar.We owe a lot to the Brits for all these backwardness.<br />Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): Yes...and Prof.Nambron you would recall, recently Chitra Iyer was selected for the Women's cricket Team under the pseudonym, Shobhana George. Its a positive development.<br />Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): Just imagine...Chitra Iyer who won a medal in 1969 Olympics is playing in the current Hockey, Football and Cricket team under the pseudonyms. Its thrilling for some. But some eminent sports persons like Arjun Singh have called for communal representation in the teams and to restrict the games played by Chitra Iyer. This is known by the term" Reservation" in Contemporary History.<br />Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): Some religious bigots have termed Chitra Iyer's inclusion as the cause of drought in Rajasthan. Infact it is the attempt of upper caste Thakurs of the village to somehow push in their grand mothers into the team at the expense of Chitra Iyer. This process is called as Sanskritisation.<br />Lahari: Sir, could we wind up the introductory discussion with a summation of the direction of International politics as viewed by a Historian...<br />Prof.Prasanth.N(PPN): Current trends of International politics are deeply linked to the 1962 Cuban Missile crisis.I would like to stress the point that Bangladesh was ultimately responsible for the cuban missile crisis. World over, the established Historians have absolved them of this crime. The silly argument that they raise is that Bangladesh was formed only in 1971. As intelligent Historians we should observe that the difference is hardly 9 years, which is not such a big gap. India was not at all involed because we were busy fighting with Chinese shepherds at that point of time.<br />In short, the current trends, based on deductions based on the 1962 crisis shows that US-Iran alliance will emerge stronger and pose a greater challenge to Israel-Saudi Axis. Though the USA has been demanding right to self determination, it is very unlikely that Mozambique would grant it easily.Mozambique as a super power would be accepted all cross the world, even by Papua New Guinea.<br />Prof:V.P.Alexander(PVPA): I broadly agree with it. But I feel the events should be observed from the view point of LTTE rebellion in Assam. Geographically, Assam being close to Canada and Italy will cause major problems in South East Asian Markets.<br />Lahari: Thank you Sirs. Now the plenum is opened for other delegates to share their learned opinions...students of History can also ask their doubts concerning Modern History in this plenum.<br /></div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1146768424652096292006-05-05T00:09:00.000+05:302008-04-21T19:14:30.120+05:30An ex-minister's day out<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMUy8hK6DXlEf7YyWYd3hN-cU2-suI3Y-thiJLO0RfbbGg91TEitce8cItXhSZ1RJkVMBvxxMSi1ybtGQ0ZUCIRfctNQjLFkZcSZN_JmPMsvnuugiyS5-TfVEqo5BonggcOAHLXQ/s1600-h/neta.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5191693994300072738" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMUy8hK6DXlEf7YyWYd3hN-cU2-suI3Y-thiJLO0RfbbGg91TEitce8cItXhSZ1RJkVMBvxxMSi1ybtGQ0ZUCIRfctNQjLFkZcSZN_JmPMsvnuugiyS5-TfVEqo5BonggcOAHLXQ/s400/neta.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Maramandan Tripathy was thoroughly tired.He struggled to avoid the waiting reporters as he came out of the meeting with his supporters. He could hardly walk. But his brains were still working at a maddening pace.How could the prime minister behave like that to him! After all, he too had a stature and political standing of over three decades.He was far senior to the PM in politics.The PM was just a dragon fly visible since last monsoon...yet he has the temerity to ignore and punish him like this. Uh!<br />First of all, he was removed from the cabinet. Now he was being implicated in three more cases besides ofcourse his son, as usual, being chargesheeted in another four cases. Though a man of eighty five, Mr. Maramandan Tripathy had always been the most visible and active of all ministers; he had been a master campaigner and organiser, tough negotiater and a master strategist for all elections.But now? Now he was an isolated entity within the party. The opposition would have nothing to do with such a tainted ex-minister. He had nowhere to go and only a handful of supporters.<br />As he walked across the Janpath road towards his car,pushing aside the waiting reporters, he heard a female voice. Startled he turned around....the voice was from across the high wall to his left. He was shocked to hear what the voice said....the voice was repeating monotonously, " 45...45.....45...45...ha ha ha ha" The laugh was hysterical.<br />$45 million was the bribe money he took to allow the import of Armenian perfumed coconut violating the country's long standing tradition of not importing perfumed coconut.In 1962, after the Chinese invasion, the then PM, J.L.Nehru had taken this strategic decision to bring down government spending and national extravagence.Maramandan Tripathy, though of the Nehruvian mould, violated this foreign policy paradigm as well as other Nehruvian policies. But that was for the party and for himself.For money basically.<br />But now he was shocked to hear people hiding behind walls making fun of him by shouting aloud his bribe money...this was too much.All that he wanted now was respect. He was too old to fight for power or money.He looked at the numerous press reporters. Were they jeering at him? Insult was something he could never take.Maramandan Tripathy took a deep breath and turned towards the wall.<br />" Abbe kaun hai..saamne aa.." He dared,"himmat hai to saamne aa.."<br />"45...45...45..hahahaha....45..45....45.."<br />Tripathy's old voice crackled,"Abbe...baahar nikal.."<br />"hahahaha...45..45..."<br />He rushed towards the wall. The gate of the compound was locked from outside.The voice went on making fun of him.He was utterly helpless. This was the most insulting phase in his entire political career.In front of the press.....thoroughly humiliated. Placing his hands on the wall, he moved about frantically,badly wanting to crush the originator of the voice. The voice meanwhile went on shouting, as if to irritate him more and more.Finally he spotted a small 1 inch hole on the wall. With a twinkle in his eyes, he moved towards it and thought,"Now! I'll see who this bitch is....I'll fix her later."<br />As Tripathy peeped into the hole on the wall, something suddenly pierced into his eye.<br />"Aaaaaaaaaagrh......" Maramandan Tripathy cried out in utter pain as he fell back." Meri aakhen...aaaooouu..."<br />Someone had poked a twig into his eys.It was bad. Really bad and bleeding.<br />A huge crisis had developed. The ex-cabinet minister had been attacked.The entire government machinery swung into action.Maramandan Tripathy was immediately rushed to the AIIMS. Live interviews with Ophthalmologists were aired on all channels.The news papers were searching for appropriate pictures of the eye ball. The PM expressed shock. The President declared his pain and anguish. An investigation was ordered.<br />Meanwhile, the site of the incident was cordoned off. The activities around Janpath died down slowly. By 12.30pm it was almost silent. One voice could yet be heard in the stillness of the night, a female voice which monotonously repeated," 46...46..46...ha ha ha ha.." The laugh was indeed hysterical.</div>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1145813423929019972006-04-23T22:57:00.000+05:302006-04-23T23:00:23.940+05:30A Dummies guide to Kerala Elections<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/6456.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/6456.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The whole nation seems to be interested in the elections in Kerala.( really?) Here is a guide for the uninitiated, especially non-mallus.<br /><br />Main protagonists:<br />0. The father, son & party.<br /><br />1. Oommen Chandy ( Oo-man Chaan—dii) & party.<br /><br />2. V.S.Achuthanandan (Achoo—thaa—nan—dan) & party<br /><br />3. Other broomstick parties ( explained below)<br /><br />4. Particle parties whose existence is subject to speculation.<br /><br />Meet Shri.Karunakarji, the father of K.Muralidharan ( like u say, the father of the nation). He is the pivot around whom the state politics revolves, or so he thinks. I had the good fortune to meet him the other day. This young octogenarian exuded confidence that his party would come to power. On being asked to specify the name of his party, he appeared confused…..finally he retracted the initial statement and denied having met me at all. But boy, he is a man of pucca words and immense integrity.<br /><br />He left the INC on ideological differences. Recently he realised that his basic ideology is his own son. Thereupon he returned to strike a deal with the INC. The good boy Karunakarji has thus joined the incumbant CM, Oomman Chandy (Oo-man Chaan—dii) to toil it out at the hustings.<br />Btw, his recently formed party is known by the name DIC(K).( The Election Commission permits such names too..?? ) A particular section of movie makers from the US have expressed their support to his new party.<br /><br />Now meet the leader of opposition, Sri.V.S.Achuthanandan (Aa--choo—thaa—nan—dan, as in Ma—oo—Tse--Tung) who is busy celebrating the closure of yet another factory in his home town. During leisure time he pulls down plantain crops and cuts down coconut trees. Why? Well, he is protesting against other crops being grown in paddy fields, as a result of which agricultural workers lose jobs! He has promised much more if he comes to power. He also plans to kick out the IT companies so that people return to manual labour. This will also ensure that his party has enough working class members. But alas, he has problems in reaching the gaddi of CM.<br /><br />Mr.V.S.Achoo’s fate is unique:<br />When he wins the election, the party loses.<br />When the party wins, he loses.<br />In short, he never became the CM.<br /><br />His close friend in the party Pinarayi Vijayan ( Pi-na-rai Vi-ja-yan, as in Che-gue-ra) is working hard to make sure that this time also poor V.S.Achoo doesn’t make it to the Assembly. So much for camaraderie within the party!<br /><br />Then there are various broom stick parties. They are named thus on account of their singular structure and resemblance to any one strand from a broom. Here we can see the hard working politician taking up the role of President, General Secretary, MLA and Minister all by himself as he alone can represent his party. (Obviously, because he/she is the only member!) These parties exist only because of the fact that they are attached to either of the two major entities..<br />The third force in Kerala politics exhibits particle nature. It is known by the name Bhajappa in north India and as BJP down south. Minute particle. Period.<br /><br />CNN-IBN reports that malayalis are enthusiastically rushing to the polling booths to make a choice from amongst the above wonderful options.<br /><br />I just hope the voter turn out doesn’t cross 100%.Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1145514153956795532006-04-20T11:41:00.000+05:302006-04-20T11:52:33.976+05:30Murgi kyu kukduku karti hai?<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/parwaaz.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/parwaaz.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><em>Tera chehra kitna suhana....<br />Dedicated to my favourite, the great, one and only Jagjit Singh. (May he survive this)</em><br /><br />Achi murgi mil jaye to, us pe shayari kardenge..<br />Murgi dekho kismet wali,waqt ane par dufna jati hai..<br />Kitnom ko ye sammaan milega, Quam hame yu dafnaye<br /><br /><strong>(These gaps are intended for chorus "wah wah")</strong><br /><br />Sarkar ye kitni rangeeli hai,Murgom pe yu beharba hai,<br />Berehmi se Marenge aur prem se dafna bhi denge...<br /><br /><strong>( chorus "wah wah")</strong><br /><br />Murgon ki hum baat kare to, sharm se aakhen chuk jaaye<br />Inki biradari ke kitnom ko, besharmi se hum nigal gaye<br /><br /><strong>( "wah wah...khoob farmaya aap ne..")</strong><br /><br />Na sudhre hum, na sudhrenge, khane ko phir ayenge<br />Lekin kya hai, phir bhi dekho, murgi bole kukuduku...<br />hai..hai..Murgi bole kukduku..<br /><br /><strong>( "wah wah...kya baat hai...lajawab..bahut khoob")</strong>Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1145090749194259222006-04-15T14:13:00.000+05:302006-04-15T14:15:49.206+05:30Indian Adukkala Service?8th April, 2006.Union Public Service Commission,Dholpur House, New Delhi.<br />The donkey gained audience of the Lion king for the second time. ( Prologue: <a href="http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-nf2s0Skhaac5Iie2Pi.7EgPP?p=34">The Holy Biography of a Donkey</a> )<br />The Lion's board consisted of 4 other members. The donkey braved the initial roars of the lion. A creature from eastern jungles who had exceptionally opaque dentures asked the donkey whether he had studied International law.<br />Donkey:No saaar.That wasn't my option in my LLB. course.<br />creature:Must be interested in it though..<br />Donkey:No saaar..not at all.<br />creature: Then u must be loving Constitutional law..<br />Donkey: ehaw ehaw...<br />After the creature proved the donkey's incompetence in any form of law he roared in utter staisfaction. The only human being on the board,Sri.Lalit Man Singh, then asked a few sensible questions which were answered based on the donkey's past interactions with other human beings, especially the Dhobi.<br />A lady with an abnoxious look carried the conversation forward.<br />Lady: Beta, u have a red banana in ur State? Tell me why it is red?( wow!)<br />Donkey: Yes Maaadam, we have red, yellow and green banana. But I dunno why it is red.( Still thinking why there is no black banana.)<br />Lady: Explain the banana stem in layman's language...<br />Donkey: The lower portions of the leaves fuse and form a fleshy cylindrical mass that attaches itself to the soil by means of underground roots there by making it an erect structure, though the fleshy stem expels water like fluid upon incision, essentially proving that the stem is basically standing on its own purely on will power...<br />Lady: bas kar beta bas....Just tell me what u had for breakfast..<br />Donkey: Puttu and kadala.(grams)<br />Lady: what?<br />Donky: err...Puttu and banana( aha..she'll ask me where kadala is cultivated. No way, I'd rather have banana!)<br />Lady: Beta, how do u make puttu?<br />Donkey: Maaadam, take a cylindrical vessel and fill it with raw rice flour and some coconut gratings.Apply steam through it..<br />Lady: bas beta bas..tell me how do u make Idly..<br />Donkey: ( do I look like a cook..) Well, take a metal plate with depressions which shall hold the preospective Idlies in the form of fermented dough of a particular consistency. Steam it.Eat it.<br />Lady: How do u ferment it beta?<br />Donkey: Put in yeast Maadam.The Fungus will ferment it.( Yeast in Idly? My Mathaji said "Ayyo")<br />Lady: Acha acha..( Will try this recipie on my hubby) What do u eat for lunch?<br />Donkey:( Geee..I think I'm being short listed as a chef) Rice Maaadam.<br />Lady: Only rice? Will it be balanced diet? What protein do u take Donkey beta?<br />Donkey:Fish Maadam.( no grams,no soya bean...hell, again I dunno where these are cultivated ...I'd rather have fish) And we catch it from water.<br />Before the Lady cud move to Dinner, the last member, probably hungry by then took the baton. He asked some things which the donkey noticed to be passing precisely a few centimetres above its cranium. Since the donkey could not possibly convince him, he tried his best to confuse him. He looked sufficiently bewildered at his answers.<br />By then two of the board members were very hungry and two others badly wanted to rush to the urinals. As a courtesy gesture, the donkey withdrew from the room after proper salutations and hew haw.The Donkey was mighty impressed with the Board. Wonder what the board thought of him.<br />The sure casualty of the story is the Lady member's hubby.Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1140726539450121452006-02-24T01:52:00.000+05:302006-02-24T01:58:59.480+05:30Buddha's Delight<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/roast_chicken.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/roast_chicken.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />From time immemorial I was a pure veggie. Then on a historic day, that my mother did not care to record, I became a non-veg eater. This happened in the late eighties. But in the mid nineties, I reverted to vegetarianism upon seeing gruesome pictures of butchered cows and goats. As a child, my heart bled for those animals and I joined PETA. Maneka Gandhi even wrote me a letter.<br />After six long years of vegetarianism, one fine evening I turned into a chicken eater.<br />That was in Bangalore. My friend and I were the only mallu male students in the batch and we happened to be the darlings of the senior mallu chechis. They found their long lost kumbh-mela brothers in both of us. One evening, a ChechiX, (name withheld) decided to throw a special party to celebrate her engagement.(The sad part of the story is that Chechi’s engagement very soon broke up. She eloped with a computer operator without finishing her house-sourgeoncy…) This wonderful Chechi had a prominent role in dismantling the viswamitra in me who had resisted temptations of chick(en). From then on, for months on end, I conducted a Digvijaya, pouncing upon all varieties of chicken.<br />Finally on an unrecorded date, I again became a vegetarian after seeing cages full of poultry pushed and shoved into a truck. I was reformed. If I had seen anything more I might have stopped eating completely and taken sanyas. I was reminded of Sidhartha Gautama who lived in the 6th Century BC. History repeats itself, very true.<br />Unlike the Buddha, my reformation was short lived. The period of sinning too was short lived as I found an article by Maneka Gandhi so moving that I quit non-veg food completely. For three months, precisely. Then I started eating chicken and quit reading Maneka Gandhi completely.<br />You must nevertheless understand that I never venture out on my own to start sinning. But once the first sin (aadi paapam) is committed, I’m very good at sustaining it. By now, I had learnt that to continue as a sinner, one should avoid looking at unpleasant sights and stop reading uneasy articles. One can train the senses and the memory not to disturb our conscience. It is an art. I entered the new Millennium as a confident sinner against the winged species.<br />In my gastronomic career, my greatest enemies were my own friends who poke fun at me during my non-veg period by quoting my own ‘great advices’ rendered during the veggie era. And when you are running a veggie period its very authenticity is put in question. The past few years saw me function as a troubled pendulum. The frequency was/is however undetermined. ChechiX and Maneka Gandhi are infact two symbols of culinary beliefs fighting within my subconscious mind.<br />“So, what is your current status?” When I dine with my friends I’m confronted with this wicked question and I can sense the iniquitous humour in the question. They term my frequent shifts in culinary habits as ‘chicken hearted’. That’s okay with me. Speaking of current status, I was a pure sincere vegetarian until I dug my teeth into chicken at my cousin’s marriage last week. (anyone tasted Thalassery Biriyani? Nothing like it.) There after I continued my sinning spree for the next two days…was just beginning to enjoy.<br />And then bird flu hit India :-(Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1140433653838702482006-02-20T16:17:00.000+05:302006-02-20T16:49:41.843+05:30The Holy Biography of a Donkey<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/donkey.0.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/400/donkey.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Once upon a time there was a donkey who lived in a jungle by the riverside. The donkey had many friends.<br /><br />Many of his friends were vultures and eagles. One of the vultures went as far as Nepal to learn tearing flesh. Many of his other friends were foxes who chased ambulances.<br />An ostrich was also his friend. He was employed as an officer in the Lion King’s police force. Another friend was a mongoose who was a software engineer in the forest across the river. Many migratory birds who studied with him were now settled across the river. They also claimed to be in software profession. Another un-identified animal, though not a bird, was associated with flying objects.<br /><br />The donkey initially joined a course to become a vulture. But since he was a donkey, he left the course mid way. The donkey was also trained to chase ambulances. Again, since he was a donkey, he felt he should not behave like a fox.<br /><br />The donkey always felt that he should be employed by the Lion. Finally the Lion called him for an interview. Throughout the interview, the donkey brayed to entertain the roaring lion. But since he proved to be an excellent donkey, the lion did not appoint him.<br /><br />The next year, the donkey prayed that he be given another chance by the Lion King. The buffalo who loved the donkey prayed to the God of the Jungle. The buffalo also firmly believed that the donkey was capable of getting the job with the Lion King.<br /><br />The question before us now is:<br />Was the buffalo also becoming a donkey…?Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1140205370114162012006-02-18T01:06:00.000+05:302006-02-18T01:12:50.126+05:30Aam Aadmi Ki Baath<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/aamir.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/aamir.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />SCENE 1:The cabinet minister in charge of backward classes in Uttar Pradesh, routinely smuggles narcotic drugs to Delhi in his official car; and he charges a reasonable amount of 20 lakhs for transporting 1crore worth of drugs in a single consignment. He admitted so on TV in yet another cash-on-cam exposure by CNN-IBN channel.<br />SCENE 2: The Minister-cum-smuggler cannot be dropped from the ministry, informs the Chief Minister, since a Committee appointed by the Speaker has to first investigate and submit a report. The CM has promptly sent a letter to the Honourable Speaker, of course through proper channel, requesting him to appoint a Committee to investigate the issue.<br />Now, can you just imagine the dimensions of injustice meted out to this Minister?<br />The poor man will have to continue as a minister without getting speedy justice. Ordinary people however would have got instant dismissal and remand to jail. You see, India’s system is heavily loaded in favour of the Aam Aadmi (also referred to as Mango man). it doesn't provide timely justice to the previleged.<br />This is despite what the government refers to as democratisation of all sectors including crime. We have given the criminal elements an equal say in the maintenance of law and order while other nations have always ignored their rights, instead solely focusing on the policemen. We’ve also voted the criminals into the Assemblies and the Parliament and then proceeded to make them Ministers. It ensured direct democracy to the most under-represented group, viz. criminals.Previleged criminals continue to remain the target of injustice as they do not get their rightful government accomodation and food.All these steps have empowered the Aam Aadmi (mango man again) and reduced the voice of the wealthy classes in governance.<br />The World Bank funded developmental loans have always referred to consultation and involvement of the affected parties and stake holders. Non-governmental organisations (NGOs) are to be actively involved in all activities including crime. According to an unnamed official, India has now successfully developed an implementation model of these proposals in both letter and spirit. According to Prof. Duryodhan Nambiar, noted management expert, this could also be seen from a system- perspective and be labelled as a bottom up approach where the ugly bottom of the society is displayed prominently. (Ugly is a subjective concept and it lies in the eyes of the beholder. It is also a relative concept. For example, if the top is uglier, the bottom becomes pretty.)<br />But as explained below, the system is favouring a section called the Aam Aadmi.( mango men) Injustice is rampant in every sector of the society as far as other sections are concerned. Though we have succeeded in introducing crime in the entertainment industry, we have not yet succeeded in ensuring speedy justice to the protagonists at the top. And at the top it is pretty lonely.<br />We’ve a famous music director by name of Nadeem, who as per Mumbai police records, arranged to kill a Music company owner. Obviously they had some difference over the back ground score and the percussion to be used in the next album. Mr.Nadeem is currently enjoying his stay in London from where he continues composing music for bollywood films. He of course takes time off to fight his extradition case. He assured us back in India that he’ll return, provided he is guaranteed of justice from the Indian Courts. But the point to be noted is that on account of his wealth, he is still craving for justice. If he were a poor Aam Aadmi (mango man) he could have speedily gone to the jail. His right to use a gun shot instead of the drum as a percussion instrument is also unjustly questioned by the Mumbai police. Speaking of percussion, it should be noted that the prosecution system is heavily biased towards the Aam Aadmi and thus against the affluent.<br />Meanwhile the police officer who had investigated and charged the crime against this talented musician is himself now behind bar. He is facing charges of conniving and conspiring with Telgi (Tel lagi), a fake “stamp-paper printer” and “distributor”. But of course, Mr. Telgi and the officer were only helping the government by taking over the burden of printing. And the quality of print wasn’t bad either. The government was considering out-sourcing of printing of currency notes as well, when some pest in the police administration made a big issue out of it.<br />Speaking of police officers behind bar, Daya Nayak( compassion leader) the famous encounter specialist based on whose life, a bollywood flick, “Ab Tak Chappan’ was made, is now charged with owning assets exceeding his known sources of income. This after noon, his bail application was rejected by the Supreme Court. God knows how long this high profle man may have to wait for a proper jail term.<br />Another wronged man, Salman. Today at around 3 o’ clock in the afternoon, our Salman uncle was convicted of poaching Chinkara (black buck), the holy animal of the Bishnoi tribe. That’s a crime under section 6 of the Protection of Wild Life Act 1972 and the endangered black buck falls in schedule one of the Act which can invite imprisonment up to 6 yrs. But since he is a rich man with good antecedents, he was awarded one year internment and a fine of one thousand bucks (not black). The crime was committed in 1998 during the shoot of ‘Hum Saath Saath Hai....’ Even eight years later, he has not been able to take his rightful position in the jail and another eight years may lapse on account of appeals to the Sessions Court, High Court and the Supreme Court. Meanwhile he will have to act in so many films and earn so much money to fight the case. The injustice meted out to the rich and famous is enormous in India.<br />"The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level." Norman Mailer. ( finally a real quote!)<br />Maybe the Indian State literally buys this quotation and wants injustice to be meted out to the socially and economically ‘uplifted’ people. Alternatively, the rich and the famous could go to a higher plane of contemplation on account of the innumerable instances of injustice.<br />The rich may get food, water, electricity and what not. But a timely FIR, a proper charge sheet, a death sentence, a decent jail term, or even a fine is far beyond the reach of the richer or influential people. Their oppression and injustice is a long drawn affair. The Aam Aadmi (mango men...) meanwhile continue to get fines, death sentences, charge sheet and all other services of the State.<br />But the perfect Socialist State thus established in India and forever the envy of our neighbours is not entirely safe.<br />History has shown that the upper class youth will not bear their perceived injustice forever for the mangoes will soon be ripe....the mood is vibrant and really 'smelling' of revolution.The very same smell was evidenced in Russia and China in the last century.In Poland and Afghanistan though it did smell momentarily, some capitalist pig sprayed a deo.. In India, comrades tell me that the smell of ripe mangoes pronounce an imminent change...<br />After seeing “Rang de Basanti” in the multiplexes (with cola, pop corn and girl friend), the enlightened upper class youth will rise in unison to challenge this oppression perpetuated by the intolerable mango men of India.Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1139903209851948292006-02-14T13:14:00.000+05:302006-02-14T13:38:04.683+05:30Poo-Valentines day thoughts...<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/valentine-14feb2001.0.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/valentine-14feb2001.0.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />For the consumption of the inhumane and crass culture of today that is hopelessly commercialised, yet another Valentines Day has come…<br /><br />Err...alternatively: This is the most beautiful occasion to express the boundless love. This is the loveliest day for it celebrates love; love which is the greatest thing on earth.<br /><br />So far so good. These two opinions may peacefully co-exist since they are not about uranium enrichment or asbestos laden on a worn out ship. Nor does it concern national security or even Aiswarya Rai’s marriage. So what’s the emotive problem?<br /><br />What strikes me as the problem is that most people are greatly worried as to what others are up to. Until recently I was under the impression that Indians alone had this problem. (A few years back I thought it was the prerogative of us, Mallus.) Now, I’m convinced squarely that it’s a universal phenomenon like corruption. Thus, it’s an individual’s birth right to peep into another fellow’s affairs and direct him on how he is to lead his personal life. It is from this fundamental right that other major rights flow…..<br /><br />The right to regulate any stranger’s love life is one of the most widely respected and acknowledged rights read into the above mentioned fundamental right to peep. The International Covenant on Peeping Rights (ICPR, 1742) confers wide ranging powers on peepers and intruders. This unwritten but well un-codified, ever- amendable document is available with all ‘concerned’ citizens and policemen of the cultural variety. The renowned sociologist and my friend, Prof. Duryodhan Nambiar says<br /><br />“This is a sociological phenomenon, whereby the leaders in a society lay down ground rules for observance by its members. Now the identity or leadership or power within a society is at all times a fluctuating parameter. Presently in India, we can sense this tug of war between the so called liberal leftists and the right wing.”<br /><br />Dr. Kulsitha Kusumam of Koylandi University adds that we are actually witnessing a fascist renaissance of weird kind where one witnesses intolerance both on the leftist-liberal wing and the right wing. The positions they take may be totally irrelevant to their ideology or historical background. The post-modern era lacks idealistic ideology (not even in religion). One can see contradictory stances and shifting of positions. In short, do not think that they mean what they say. Let me illustrate.<br /><br />While a few declare their right to celebrate Valentines Day, the ‘dignified’ cultured guys go around bashing up those who dare to declare their love on this particular day. (It doesn’t matter if it’s done the next day or the next week end…) The channels make it a point to some how create some news about lovers being anxious of attacks, with the camera generally focusing on the petite beautiful things who screech about their right to love Sanju, Banti and Munna…<br />The liberals in Europe wish to exercise their right to portray prophets and goddesses in ‘disturbing’ attires, only to periodically establish their right to expression. Then the ‘conservative right’ emerges to demolish Consulates. (How very peaceful and thoughtful of them.) Even ‘non-prophet organisations’ like the left have condemned the Danish cartoons. So liberalism means two things in two places.<br /><br />You might recall that the Indian left was staunchly against fashion shows and commercial marketing gimmicks like Valentines Day, until, lo and behold, they found that the saffron sadhus were opposed to such dirty ‘firangi’ practices. Then came the great leftist reformation. Now they are in the forefront to protect our rights to expose ourselves from the medieval age barbaric non-secular animals. (God! We are saved.)<br /><br />Now, if I mention the shifts and contradictions of the right wing desi babus, I’ll exhaust my web space. Reading “The Hindu” would suffice. The conclusion is that the parties to the controversies never ever had any real logical position. They fight is for no cause, but for maintaining their respective position or to improve upon it.<br /><br />The vital conclusion is that each one of them directly or indirectly asserts it’s right to control and peep into other’s lives. Even those who outwardly seem to argue for individual rights actually seek to control and subjugate individuals vide ICPR, 1742. So, be it leftism or rightism, let us all beware.<br /><br />And remember, Lord Lettitglow, the patron saint of this blog had once said,<br />"If your're too open minded, your brains will fall out."Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22387318.post-1139837080234500262006-02-13T18:49:00.000+05:302006-02-14T01:37:59.863+05:30Pressure to Bare<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/1600/crick.0.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2568/2276/320/crick.0.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />From reliable sources in Pakistan, I've learnt that Team India misses Ganguly very badly. Really.<br /><br />Dravid with the "perfectly dressed up gentleman" image can hardly do justice to the poor and semi nude millions in Bharat.Pressure is mounting on the team management to either reduce the clothing of the team or atleast put them off occassionally. (The picture above was released to the media to contain criticism.)<br /><br />For those who are uninformed, Dravid was under immense pressure to bare his back during the first ODI in Pakistan if he wanted to keep his captaincy. After all, that was the only way to exhibit team spirit.<br /><br />As we all know Prince Ganguly was inspired by Gandhian principles when he decided to gently and delicately remove the foreign material on his back and then joyfully proceed to rotate it clock-wise thrice and then 'aunty-clock wise' for half an hour, until he was pulled to the ground by a joyous Kaif ( no no...not Katrina) who had meanwhile won the match for India in the Natwest series.Ganguly had all along superstitiously maintained an odd catatonic body posture in the pavallion so as to ensure the win.Commentators were quick to point out the significance of such a gesture on the part of the captain.So...so what? Isn't this old stuff?<br /><br />Well, old times are coming back to haunt...Dravid muct be ruing the fact that he didn't show the wisdom to remove his shirt at that point of time. Thus he lost a chance to prove that he is a 'moving' force who leads from the front with bared chests.( Besides his fairer fans would've been delighted!) After he was made the captain, he had so many chances to remove and rotate his shirt. Poor man didn't utilise them either...<br /><br />In this context we have to observe that even the pakistani cricketers and media persons are showering praise on Ganguly and his 'sportman spirit'. They also make it a point to educate poor Dravid to show team spirit and sportsmanship by not appealing against the Paki team. Little does he realise that good sporting relations are built upon defeats incurred and not wins registered. I would like to recall India's first tour of South Africa after the fall of Apartheid where we ensured good relations are built upon failures amassed by our team. (All that was spoiled a decade later by the meddling Delhi Police who brought out the Cronje tapes.)<br /><br />Under the above circumstances, it is humbly submitted that Rahul Dravid take the following measures if he wants to maintain his captaincy:<br /><br />Reduce clothing by 20% and introduce ritual rotation of clothes in air before and after the game.<br /><br />Repeat unconsciously and ritually, every minute after the game that 'the boys did a great job'. This helps to project yourself as the lone man among the boys.( boys...eh.. in their thirties!)<br /><br />The above measures should be undertaken whether the team wins or loses.<br /><br />Then, appoint an empowered committe to scrutinise all appeals proposed against the opposition whose recommendations shall be forwarded to the Team sub committee whose report shall be sent to the North Bloc in New Delhi. The Foreign Ministry shall then conduct an opinion survey in the media, especially in the rival country upon which the Team Manager shall be forwarded a mandatory order from the Under Secretary in the Ministry. All these shall ofcourse should be implemented without affecting the beauty of the game.<br /><br />And finally, daily recite Ganguly Chalisa which praises the erswhile captain and tells us all how much we miss him.<br /><br />These are necessary to peacefully conduct captaincy in a country which thinks that every cricketer needs to be fired until of course he is really fired.Himavalbhadraanandatheerthathiruvadigalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09798952815457076330noreply@blogger.com1