Poo-Valentines day thoughts...

For the consumption of the inhumane and crass culture of today that is hopelessly commercialised, yet another Valentines Day has come…

Err...alternatively: This is the most beautiful occasion to express the boundless love. This is the loveliest day for it celebrates love; love which is the greatest thing on earth.

So far so good. These two opinions may peacefully co-exist since they are not about uranium enrichment or asbestos laden on a worn out ship. Nor does it concern national security or even Aiswarya Rai’s marriage. So what’s the emotive problem?

What strikes me as the problem is that most people are greatly worried as to what others are up to. Until recently I was under the impression that Indians alone had this problem. (A few years back I thought it was the prerogative of us, Mallus.) Now, I’m convinced squarely that it’s a universal phenomenon like corruption. Thus, it’s an individual’s birth right to peep into another fellow’s affairs and direct him on how he is to lead his personal life. It is from this fundamental right that other major rights flow…..

The right to regulate any stranger’s love life is one of the most widely respected and acknowledged rights read into the above mentioned fundamental right to peep. The International Covenant on Peeping Rights (ICPR, 1742) confers wide ranging powers on peepers and intruders. This unwritten but well un-codified, ever- amendable document is available with all ‘concerned’ citizens and policemen of the cultural variety. The renowned sociologist and my friend, Prof. Duryodhan Nambiar says

“This is a sociological phenomenon, whereby the leaders in a society lay down ground rules for observance by its members. Now the identity or leadership or power within a society is at all times a fluctuating parameter. Presently in India, we can sense this tug of war between the so called liberal leftists and the right wing.”

Dr. Kulsitha Kusumam of Koylandi University adds that we are actually witnessing a fascist renaissance of weird kind where one witnesses intolerance both on the leftist-liberal wing and the right wing. The positions they take may be totally irrelevant to their ideology or historical background. The post-modern era lacks idealistic ideology (not even in religion). One can see contradictory stances and shifting of positions. In short, do not think that they mean what they say. Let me illustrate.

While a few declare their right to celebrate Valentines Day, the ‘dignified’ cultured guys go around bashing up those who dare to declare their love on this particular day. (It doesn’t matter if it’s done the next day or the next week end…) The channels make it a point to some how create some news about lovers being anxious of attacks, with the camera generally focusing on the petite beautiful things who screech about their right to love Sanju, Banti and Munna…
The liberals in Europe wish to exercise their right to portray prophets and goddesses in ‘disturbing’ attires, only to periodically establish their right to expression. Then the ‘conservative right’ emerges to demolish Consulates. (How very peaceful and thoughtful of them.) Even ‘non-prophet organisations’ like the left have condemned the Danish cartoons. So liberalism means two things in two places.

You might recall that the Indian left was staunchly against fashion shows and commercial marketing gimmicks like Valentines Day, until, lo and behold, they found that the saffron sadhus were opposed to such dirty ‘firangi’ practices. Then came the great leftist reformation. Now they are in the forefront to protect our rights to expose ourselves from the medieval age barbaric non-secular animals. (God! We are saved.)

Now, if I mention the shifts and contradictions of the right wing desi babus, I’ll exhaust my web space. Reading “The Hindu” would suffice. The conclusion is that the parties to the controversies never ever had any real logical position. They fight is for no cause, but for maintaining their respective position or to improve upon it.

The vital conclusion is that each one of them directly or indirectly asserts it’s right to control and peep into other’s lives. Even those who outwardly seem to argue for individual rights actually seek to control and subjugate individuals vide ICPR, 1742. So, be it leftism or rightism, let us all beware.

And remember, Lord Lettitglow, the patron saint of this blog had once said,
"If your're too open minded, your brains will fall out."